Can YOU Scare the Kids Off Your Lawn??

In the year of our dark lord, 2017, younglings have realized there is more to fear than the village witch. Children are constantly cutting across your lawn on their way to and from school. Some of them have even taken to stealing the honeysuckle right off your fence!

Will your cackle be enough to combat this boldness from the youths??

First things first: how do you prevent the stream of children who are trampling your front garden?
grow a giant briar hedge around the perimeter of your lawn
enchant your honeysuckle to turn its young drinkers into piglets
bribe your bees to swarm and immediately sting any child passing through your property

Correct!

Wrong!

Some reckless child has tried to prove himself to the others by throwing a rock at your house! The little monster BROKE A WINDOW! What do you do?
Southern Toad (Bufo terrestris) Isolated on a white background
immediately transfigure him into a toad as an example to the others
repair the window and rework your home's protective charms
drink an invisibility potion and throw rocks at him as he walks home

Correct!

Wrong!

The children have started daring each other to get closer and closer to your front door. One of them places his hand on the doorknob. How do you respond?
animated door knocker says “Boo!”
trapdoor straight into the oven
summon hellfire to heat the knob until he lets go

Correct!

Wrong!

You’ve invited the coven over for tea and gossip, but your gathering is continually interrupted by children loudly reenacting disparaging stereotypes on your front lawn. What will you do?
commiserate about how the kids these days have no respect; drink more
politely recuse yourself from the gathering to turn these kids into poisonous toadstools
together, summon a demon who will show each child a reflection of their greatest fear; save this ghoul some cake

Correct!

Wrong!

You’re in your study, drafting a new hex and minding your own business when you hear a crash in your basement! You rush down there and, standing next to a toppled stack of reference tomes and broken vials, you find a youth with a smirk on his face and a gleam in his eye. You:
drag him out of your house by the ear
enchant him to clean your home forever
teleport him to the top of the tallest tree in the neighborhood, and befuddle his speech whenever he tries to talk about you

Correct!

Wrong!

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Can YOU Scare the Kids Off Your Lawn??

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Jenny Mott

Jenny Mott

Jenny is just a Silly Nerd with a lot of Feelings about Comic Books and Friendship and also This Capitalist Yoke We All Share; she enjoys Dogs and Sleeping and Cartoons. Her three favorite words are: Breakfast All Day.
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