QUIZ: Did a creepy man I barely know say this to me, or did I say it to a cat

Who said it best: an amorous weirdo or a sad, cat-less woman with a Cat Fancy subscription?

July 21, 2016 at 12:49 pm

Dating is hard, but so is winning the approval of someone else’s cat. Can you figure out which of the comments below are sad, creepy pickup lines, and which are the pleadings of a woman hell-bent on earning the love of an indifferent fluffy-puff beast?

 

I love you love you love you love you, you little love bug, you lovely little bug; I love you.
I said this to a cat!!
Some rando said this to me!!

Correct!

Wrong!

I am terribly afraid of dying alone.
I said this to a cat!!
Some rando said this to me!!

Correct!

Wrong!

Hey [cat / human woman], come over here and sit on my lap!
I said this to a cat!!
Some rando said this to me!!

Correct!

Wrong!

Your [cat’s owner / boyfriend] can’t love you the way I do. You should come home with me. I will always take care of you. We will be so happy together.
I said this to a cat!!
Some rando said this to me!!

Correct!

Wrong!

Why is everything so hard.
I said this to a cat!!
Some rando said this to me!!

Correct!

Wrong!

Wow, you’re so soft. I love chubby [kitties / women]! They’re just so soft and cute. I actually like them better than thin [kitties / women]!
I said this to a cat!!
Some rando said this to me!!

Correct!

Wrong!

Can I just, like, touch you, though? Hey, where are you going!? Come back here!! I just want to love you!!! You ungrateful fucker!!!
I said this to a cat!!
Some rando said this to me!!

Correct!

Wrong!

Well I’m really against getting [a cat / married] because you’re just working really hard to please an indifferent [beast / human woman] when you know they’re just hanging out with you for [tasty, delicious snacks / money], you know? Plus, they’re totally going to eat you when you die.
I said this to a cat!!
Some rando said this to me!!

Correct!

Wrong!

Why is it that [cats / women] only like people that are mean to them???
I said this to a cat!!
Some rando said this to me!!

Correct!

Wrong!

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QUIZ: Did a creepy man I barely know say this to me, or did I say it to a cat

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Carolynn Calabrese

If you prick your finger and write “Cat Fancy” on your mirror during a harvest moon, CC will appear behind you and make you put human clothes on your pets. CC is Head Crone in Charge at POMEgranate Magazine, as well as the co-host of Moon Podcast Power MAKE UP!!