The Most Unnecessary Animes of Wikihow

You may recognize this situation: it’s late at night and something in your life has gone wrong. You turn your fears over and over in your head until you can’t take it anymore – it’s time to do some serious google research. To your immense relief, you’re greeted by a helpful resource right away! It’s even the first search result! Ready to find some guidance for those woes, your heart skips a beat as WikiHow loads. Finally! What you’ve always wanted: for an implausibly buxom anime to guide you through the perils of pregnancy hemorrhoids.

Look: far be it from me to tell you not to trust WikiHow or animes. But if you’ve ever gotten tax advice from some shounen-style rando holding up a Schedule C form in one hand and giving you a thumbs-up with the other, you might know where I’m coming from here.

Besides, we don’t know these animes’ life stories. Who knows if they have a good reason for trying to interject themselves into all of your most uncomfortable moments. You can’t judge a WikiHow Anime by the quality of their lineart; but rather, by the level of insanity their presence brings to the article.


How to Fill Out and File a Schedule K-1

k1 animes
Image Source: wikiHow, How to Fill Out and File a Schedule K-1

Even beautiful, androgynous animes have to deal with tax-related interest income assessments sometimes.

Features:

  • Animes holding papers
  • Extrapolating a manga from these illustrations: “It’s like Free!, but for accounting.”
  • What?
  • It could happen

How to Become a Military Psychologist

military 1
Image Source: wikiHow, How to Become a Military Psychologist

The josei story about military psychology we’ve all been waiting for. 

Features:

  • A woman enjoying her carefree path towards military psychology
  • PTSD
  • The incongruous mixture of both of these things

 

How to Take Psyllium Husk

husk description
Image Source: wikiHow, How to Take Psyllium Husk

so yeah

husk 01
Image Source: wikiHow, How to Take Psyllium Husk

Features:

  • The poops
  • People smiling and thinking about the poops

 

How to Identify a Bed Bug Infestation

bbb animes flipout
Image Source: wikiHow, How To Identify a Bedbug Infestation

 

bbb animes
Image Source: wikiHow, How To Identify a Bedbug Infestation

WHAT ARE YOU SMILING ABOUT

Features:

  • PARANOIA
  • PARANOIA
  • PARANOIA
  • PARANOIA

 

How to Cure Lockjaw

lockjaw 1
Image Source: wikiHow, How to Cure Lockjaw

But also:

lockjaw 2
Image Source: wikiHow, How to Cure Lockjaw

I don’t think…lockjaw……..was her problem……

lockjaw 3
Image Source: wikiHow, How to Cure Lockjaw

Features:

  • I don’t really want to think about it

 

How to Communicate With Older Adults

grandma eyes
Image Source: wikiHow, How to Communicate With Older Adults

 

grandma anime
Image Source: wikiHow, How to Communicate With Older Adults

Anime Grandma is leading Bald Mario into the woods so she can take him out.

(Actually the text for this one is very helpful and very sweet and if there really is a heaven and hell, the last thing I see before I get sent below will be this article. I cut the text out because it made me feel too guilty. I am a bad person).

Features:

  • Guilt
  • Shame
  • Anime Grandma’s sonar hearing

 

How to Comfort the Dying

grandpakun
Image Source: wikiHow, How to Comfort the Dying

All the illustrations in this article are the artistic equivalent of some stranger walking in on you while you are crying and patting you on the shoulder helplessly and uncomfortably. These animes want to help but quite frankly the situation is far beyond their paygrade.

sad animes
Image Source: wikiHow, How to Comfort the Dying

Features:

  • Bibles
  • An old man’s strangely enthusiastic resignation about his own death
  • A reminder to turn your cell phone off while someone is actively dying in front of you

 

How to Deal With Your Hamster Dying

hamster 1
Image Source: wikiHow, How to Deal With Your Hamster Dying

Above is the image for Step One in the “How to Deal With Your Hamster Dying” article.

This is the image for Step Five:

hamster 2
Image Source: wikiHow, How to Deal With Your Hamster Dying

Features:

  • The entire duration of this dude’s engrossing friendship with his hamster
  • Who wouldn’t spend money on a comic about a tough guy and his pet hamster?
  • That’s not a feature but this WikiHow’s ability to make us all want that comic is a feature
  • right?
  • oh well

 

How to Overcome Depression

depression
Image Source: wikiHow, How to Overcome Depression

His eyes are so tender.

Features:

  • Uncanny valley
  • Lips
  • RIP Hammy the Hamster, somehow we will carry on through this dark time, I’m so glad WikiHow is here to help us

 

How to Control Temporal Lobe Seizures

900px-Control-Temporal-Lobe-Seizures-Step-15
Image Source: wikiHow, How to Control Temporal Lobe Seizures

Temporal lobe seizures are a lot sexier than I would have expected, if this page is any indication. You wouldn’t be able to tell from this image alone, but swimming alone is something you’re not supposed to do if you’re trying to stay safe in case of a seizure.

Features:

  • Headless, sexy yoga
  • Ugly anime food

 

How to Recognize Boils

boils
Image Source: wikiHow, How to Recognize Boils

This article is full of beautifully-drawn animes and pus drainage. View the whole thing at your own peril.

Features:

  • Irreparably ruining all of the ads that follow you around the internet
  •  I wasn’t kidding about the pus drainage, it’s really gnarly
  • Gratuitous showering?

 

How to Find a Person’s Grave

find grave
Image Source: wikiHow, How to Find a Person’s Grave

 

find grave 2
Image Source: wikiHow, How to Find a Person’s Grave

Nothing says “I wanted the satisfaction of seeing that motherfucker in the ground” like animes and soft color palettes.

Features:

  • Most non-explicitly gothy WikiHow page
  • Soft colors and textures soothing to eyes after boils page
  • This quote: “Many cemeteries do not have an Internet presence and only their telephone number may be available in a white pages listing.”

 

How to Choose Your Own Nickname to Fit Your Name

nickname guy
Image Source: wikiHow, How to Choose Your Own Nickname to Fit Your Name

Anime Jorah Mormont is turning over a new leaf.

Features:

  • Convenient now that you have hidden the grave
  • Fresh starts

 

How to Find Out About Animes

animes 1
Image Source: wikiHow, How to Find Out About Animes

 

animes 2
Image Source: wikiHow, How to Find Out About Animes

Other Features:

  • none
  • this whole article is unnecessary animes
  • there is literally no reason this page was needed
  • it just teaches you how to google the word anime
  • you never have to leave
  • WikiHow has all the animes you ever need
  • where are you going
  • no
  • WikiHow did not say you could leave
  • WikiHow needs you
  • besides
  • no one will ever find the grave
  • lol no just kidding!!
  • OK fine you can go, Grandma Animes will show you the way out
  • hope you don’t get
  • a whole bunch of boils
  • and also hemorrhoids
  • don’t come crying to WikiHow
  • lol
  • jk
  • cemeteries don’t have internet you know
  • because that’s where you’re going
  • lol
  • just kidding
  • How To Scream
  • How to Stop Being Paranoid
  • How to Let Go of Thoughts and Feelings
  • How to Disappear Completely
  • How To Overcome The Fear of Death

Featured Image Source: wikiHow, How to Fill Out and File a Schedule K 1

CC Calanthe

CC Calanthe

If you prick your finger and write “Cat Fancy” on your mirror during a harvest moon, CC will appear behind you and make you put human clothes on your pets. CC is Head Crone in Charge at POMEgranate Magazine, as well as the co-host of Moon Podcast Power MAKE UP!!
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