Which Future Dystopian City Do You Belong In?

Speak softly and carry a big robot arm

April 7, 2016 at 12:22 pm

Choose the most rewarding career.
Artisan hair pickler
Chief Moisture Officer
Licensed bird technician
Egg consultant
Porpoise designer
Book

Correct!

Wrong!

Choose the most fulfilling religion.
Mars
Salt
Money
Sex
Bees
A quick, yet flavorful take on the classic spaghetti with meat sauce. Recipe: http://norecipes.com/blog/spaghetti-recipe/
Spaghetti

Correct!

Wrong!

Choose a vacation destination.
Abandoned missile storage facility
Rotting Forest
A cloud literally made of beetles
The event horizon
An ice floe the size of the headboard Leo falls off of in TITANIC
War

Correct!

Wrong!

Choose a dinner date.
Cabbage furry
A dad trying to mansplain apples
Pineapple broker
Flat white
Badass princess
Corn pals
Mid-life crisis dog
L'il Sebastian's giant mom and astronaut

Correct!

Wrong!

Which paint chip represents the great desire you have never admitted to yourself?
Poisonberry
Garbanzo Paste
Chameleon Skin
Sea Ice
Aging Barrel
Glass Of Milk

Correct!

Wrong!

Which ensemble best represents your personal style?
The 2000s
Extremely Wealthy Geese
Crustacean
Very Pants
Baking Potato side view
Potato
Cthulhu Priestess

Correct!

Wrong!

Pick a cheeseburger.

Correct!

Wrong!

Choose a Lisa Frank picture that best represents your personal views on death.

Correct!

Wrong!

How do you feel about bald eagles?
They're literally fake
They are my greatest fear
I'm in a committed long-term relationship with three of them, what do YOU think?
It makes me sad that they're bald
It makes me sad that they're eagles
I am one and I don't know how I feel about it

Correct!

Wrong!

Pick an emoji that most closely resembles your mother. (If you don't have a mother, imagine yourself as a mother and choose the emoji that most resembles that frightening vision.)
Man in business suit levitating
Fountain
Waving reeds
Hole
Sparkles
Majora's Mask
Easter Island head
Some dials

Correct!

Wrong!

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Ashley Gallagher

Ashley is a writer, a subtropical swamp blossom transplanted to a temperate rain forest, and a 100% organic mansplain repellent. She enjoys yelling about the media and pop culture zeitgeists that everyone has moved on from at least six months previous, and headcanoning her favorite fictional characters queer.