You can’t browse social media these days without seeing some blog about body positivity. They say you can be healthy at any size. They say any body can be a beach body. But can you truly have a beach body if you can’t become one with every single grain of sand at the same time? I’ve got news for you, folks: however your body looks, if you’re still subjecting yourself to the drudgery of a physical form, you could frankly try a little bit harder.
I used to be like all of you. I thought embracing my limited physical form would help me move through the world a little more easily. I held myself back, justifying my unsightly visible human body by telling myself things like “all bodies are valid and real,” “living creatures need food, rest, and oxygen,” and “my consciousness must exist within the framework of time and physical space.”
Only now do I realize that thoughts like these were just excuses — the excuses of an aching, tangible being too lazy to unshackle herself from the seven dimensions of terrestrial existence. And those excuses only prevented me from evolving into my true self — a confident, sapient gas cloud that knows all and sees all.
These days, I can’t imagine going back to my clumsy, biological function-riddled body and honestly I’m a little disgusted by “fleshies” who walk around on two legs, breathing and sweating and excreting and god knows what else.
I get so frustrated, watching my friends and family refuse to do anything about their unhealthy tactile lifestyles. I can’t help but try to intervene, but they feed me the same tired excuses every time.
Some say “I don’t have time to ascend to an extradimensional non-corporeal form,” but how many of you lazy fleshies have ever really committed to a non-corporeal lifestyle before giving up?
(I’m sorry, that insult was uncalled for; I just get so post-emotional about all of this.)
Others say “I don’t even know how to become a sapient fog that exists between this plane and the next one.” But frankly, we live in a digital age and all the information you’ll ever need to transform your pathetic finite lifestyle is right at your fingertips, people. I mean, if you can use Google, you can learn how to shed your fleshy prison and advance to a floating, nebulous consciousness.
A few of my loved ones tell me they’re happy with how they are now, and they don’t particularly want to become an unlimited ghost-being straddling the line between the mortal realm and the Great Beyond. This breaks my theoretical heart in two. The benefits to this lifestyle are endless — as endless as an immaterial soul floating freely through a sea of knowledge.
You see, I know the truth — most of you aren’t really choosing to remain tethered to your mortal coil. You’re just afraid that you’ll fail at becoming something greater. You can’t imagine a better life, and you don’t believe that you can overcome your immoral hunger for sustenance, physical touch, and gravity.
But even if you don’t believe in you, I — or the collection of stray thoughts banding together into one loosely defined consciousness that now defines me — do.
I used to be as fleshy as anyone. Now I have the whole universe at my fingertips — or I would, if I still had fingers, or ambition. I know that ascending to a higher state of being doesn’t actually make me better than everyone else, but if I can free myself from the laws of physics or corporeal existence, anyone can.
Featured image source: Unsplash.