Blessings upon you, mortals. I, Persephone, Queen of the Underworld and Herbal Cocktail Enthusiast bear an important message for all of you on this most auspicious day:
For the love of all that is both holy and unholy in this world, please go vote, if you can. Vote, or so help me Kronos I will burden you with curses until the well of souls dries up and the earth has been devoured by an encroaching sun.
I repeat: if you are eligible to vote in this election and merely decide not to, your withered spectral husk will walk the halls of the dead until humanity itself is nothing but a faded memory pressed into the book of celestial history. This is the price you will pay for depriving me of my steady stream of caprine offerings and petty mortal drama.
Know that as you cast your vote, every spirit in the underworld will be smiling upon you — smiling because they are trapped within my realm for eternity and I will it so.
So please, fragile supplicant: do your civic duty — if for no other reason than for the fate of your immortal soul.
Blessed be,
Persephone
Original image source: WikiMedia Commons.
