Now that 2015 is finally drawing to a close, many publications are speculating about the events that will shape our cultural landscape in 2016. Will this be the year that our volatile election year political climate drags us into a Fury Road-esque dystopia full of thirsty, ravaging Juggalos? Will it be the year Bernie Sanders emerges from the heavens and uses the Legendary Silver Crystal to stop Donald Trump from harvesting our pure hearts to fuel his shadow empire? Or will it just be the year that I stop griping and finally watch Breaking Bad in its entirety?
According to the internet, 2015 was the year of:
- The start-up
- The dangerous selfie
- The cage-free hen
- The soft reboot
- The douchebag
- The toilet
- and more!
From where we’re sitting, this next year is a whole world of thinkpiece possibilities. Other publications might be throwing their hats into the “What’s Gonna Happen in 2016” ring, but POMEmag won’t need to. We’re fueled by crone power, remember?
So with absolute certainty, we know one thing: 2016 will be the Year of the Year.
In the midst of inequality, electoral upheaval, and the impending likelihood of a Golden Girls reboot, the defining aspect of this next year will be that it is an abstract concept humanity relies on to make sense of our lifespans. We know what’s up — this year, the earth will revolve around the sun in one full cycle. 365 days will turn into nights, and the seasons will shift from winter to spring to summer to fall. At some points in the year, the weather will be relatively colder than other times. Sometimes, it will be warmer.
In the past, there have been years in which people thought the world would end, such as the incorrectly-taken-from-the-Mayan-calendar apocalypse / fundamentalist Christian rapture freakout of 2012. This year, however, we predict that the world as we know it will not only continue, but will resemble many prior years.
At this point last year, anybody who said they were living in 2016 would be laughed at and mocked. But the world is changing. This year, we predict that saying that you live in the year 2016 will come into vogue. At some point, like parents on Facebook, almost everyone will latch onto this trend.
2016 is going to be a year that is all about years. Like most years, 2016 was preceded by other years. But this year, we are finally all more aware of what that means: with each passing year, we inch closer to the unending oblivion of death. And by the time this year passes to a close, a handful of events will lead to thousands of thinkpieces from every possible angle that explore what it all meant for posterity. However, by the first week of 2017, posterity will already be moving onto a leak about a live-action Rugrats movie (coming Christmas 2018, naturally).
Of course, no one can really define the tone of a year before it even starts. We look forward to watching the Year of the Year unfold as we double down on our awareness that years bleed into each other and we will all become long-forgotten memories of a time before humanity just said “fuck it” and lived their lives via a futuristic, well-designed version of Second Life.
Oh yeah — also, December 2016 will come and go but that hot guy road trip Final Fantasy game still won’t be out. We wish you many safe returns into a year that is exceptionally, uniquely like many other years.