From my list of things that are as old as, or younger than, the Kingdom Hearts franchise last week, you might think that I am well-versed in the series’ lore and characters. But the truth is, despite being friends with and even living with a surprising number of Kingdom Hearts fans over the years, I never even left Kingdom Hearts 1’s very first hub world. That’s right: my only KH playthrough stalled out back in Traverse Town. I met Squall and immediately punched my ticket there.
Now that Kingdom Hearts 3 is out, I’m going to give the franchise another shot and I’m going to start my journey by laying out what I already know. I’ve probably absorbed a lot of what the series has to offer in my nearly two decades of sitting in rooms where people are playing through it, right? Let’s start with the basics anyway — here are all the Kingdom Hearts characters I’ve learned to recognize through seventeen years of social osmosis.
Donald
Goofy
Anime Teens
Knuckles
Mullet Prime
Rose Quartz
Anime Teen Understudies
Solid Snake
Kuwabara
oh wow, I guess Selphie’s still in these, huh?
strongbad
Sailor Mercury
Detective Pikachu
Blond Sephiroth
Water Type Sephiroth
Pointy Sephiroth
Old (???) Sephiroth
Larry Hemsworth
Maleficent
I’m sure there are more Kingdom Hearts characters — and god knows that Kingdom Hearts 3 has probably tripled this number, at least. For now, I’ll work on getting at least these names and faces memorized before moving into more advanced Kingdom Hearts timeline lore and all the high level math required for that endeavor.
You might be wondering how much more Kingdom Hearts content we could possibly come up with, but we’ve got news for you: POMEmag Patrons can check out our final piece of Welcome To The World Kingdom Hearts 3 #content. Head on over to our Patreon today to see how much CC has learned about Kingdom Hearts on the other side of writing the article above.
Featured image original source via Walmart, with bonus Kingdom Hearts characters. All other images in this article sourced from Square Enix’s Kingdom Hearts franchise unless otherwise noted.
