Things That Are Haunting Me Today

A list of everyday spectres that plague my mind.

December 9, 2016 at 3:30 pm

This article is part of the POMEmag Séance Theme Week.

 

What lingering presences are haunting my mortal existence today? I cast my third eye’s gaze inward to find out.

 

Arranged in no particular order:

 


 

Lady Gaga’s 2012 Halloween Costume

gaga-ghost

 

It’s literally just a tablecloth with two holes cut in it but it’s still probably worth more than my objective fiscal worth as a human being. The spectre of Capitalism haunts me like so many cast-off meat dresses, decomposing in the mire.

 

Ethereal Dog

2016-12-09

 

It pierces my soul with its silent plea for treats and pets.

 

This DVD

haunted

In 2008, I found this DVD in a Sam Goody’s clearance bin and it haunts my memory to this day; I have So Many Questions (but not enough questions that I bought the DVD so they eternally linger in my mind).

 

Old Photos Of Myself

184197_1002165144371_7605_n

I am especially haunted by:

  • Bleached highlights
  • Hats
  • The passage of time, grinding away my fresh-faced optimism until only bones and dust remain (AKA me in 2016)
200183_1002165104370_1978_n

Memento Mori!!

 

Ghostbusting Dog

dog-costume-gb

Unable to communicate with the other side of the screen with this beleaguered little buddy, all I can do is whisper a silent prayer that he’ll be able to knock over a trash can and eat his fill in floss and bathroom trash.

dog-costume-gb-2

 

All The News

world-weekly-news

 

Every time I close my eyes, I hear the wailing and gnashing of teeth of the World That Is Soon To Come, no matter how loudly I try to block it out with soothing Enya ~thoughtscape~ collections. I can’t even check my email without fielding 1,000 newsletters from nonprofits with subject lines like “Trump’s America: What At Stake For [Literally Every Issue Affecting Human Life On This Miserable Ass-Trash Piss-Planet]”.

 

Boo the Dog

boo-dog-christmas

 

He is a grown-ass dog, but cursed to forever look like a baby dog. A grown-ass baby dog. What has science done? Is he a puppy? Is he a dog? Is he a ghost?????? His little face is full of secrets and mysteries we’ll never unravel!!!!

 

What’s he hiding??

What’s he hiding??

 

How Cold My Hands Are All The Time

coldhands

Am I dying?????????????????????????????????????

 

Crone Head Box

crone-head-2-small

How can Amazon sell haunted goods? Do they have access to ghosts in bulk? These thoughts are really rattling my chains.

 

The Philosophical Concepts You Need to Buy Into In Order To Believe In Ghosts

well-actually

How does the afterlife work?? Is there a heaven and hell? How can a mortal and thus finite being deserve infinite reward or punishment? How did they get those ghosts in the Crone Head Cookie Jar?????

 

Cotton Balls

cotton-balls

Are they ghosts??????

 

External Stimuli

I am currently seeking an exorcism to banish communication between this world and my brain, or at the very least, a Groupon for a sensory deprivation chamber I can hide in for the next several years that definitely won’t murder me in my technology-induced uthenera.

 


Goodbye, cruel world! I’m off to hide from my fears! If you need me, I’ll be shoveling comfort-cheese into my mouth, inventing a human ThunderShirt and searching for Hot Movie Priests willing to exorcise 2016 from this terrible earth.

 

Carolynn Calabrese

If you prick your finger and write “Cat Fancy” on your mirror during a harvest moon, CC will appear behind you and make you put human clothes on your pets. CC is Head Crone in Charge at POMEgranate Magazine, as well as the co-host of Moon Podcast Power MAKE UP!!