Medieval Woodcuts For Every Occasion

We can learn a lot from medieval art — maybe not how to deal with our current global hellscape or adapt to a world rapidly shaped by plague, but you know, there’s still a lot to unpack. Here are some medieval woodcuts to validate even your most petty gripes.


When your slightly younger friend brags about doing their taxes all by themselves.

Medieval Woodcuts For Every Occasion taxes
via the British Museum

When you show up an hour and a half late to a party but brought beer and paper plates.

via WikiMedia Commons

When you get a notification that someone tagged you in a photo.

Medieval Woodcuts For Every Occasion tagged photo
via Public Domain Review

When your friends tell you that you don’t really need braces.

Medieval Woodcuts For Every Occasion monster with bad teeth
via WikiMedia Commons

When your good pal Impostor Syndrome drops by.

Medieval Woodcuts For Every Occasion monster holding human head
via WikiMedia Commons

When you’re 29 and it’s your birthday and you can celebrate the weight of your years treading across this hell-earth if you want to, damn it!!!!!

Medieval Woodcuts For Every Occasion skeleton banging on drum on top of its pelvis in front of horrified onlookers
via Public Domain Review

When you get any text at 3AM.

Medieval Woodcuts For Every Occasion a v persistent unicorn with a very long horn
via WikiMedia Commons

When he is gonna listen to that podcast you recommended, one way or another, goddamn it.

Medieval Woodcuts For Every Occasion woman pouring poison into man's ear
via Streets of Salem

When you accidentally post it to the group chat.

Medieval Woodcuts For Every Occasion setting a city on fire
via WikiMedia Commons

When you’re a millennial who doesn’t really get hyped about the zodiac.

Medieval Woodcuts For Every Occasion crowd lowering a nonplussed witch into a lake
via WikiMedia Commons

When you cheer on the teens standing up to corrupt politicians and silently retweet them without commentary because they’ve got a better handle on things than you do and you’re roughly twice their age.

via WikiMedia Commons

When you’re horny on main.

Medieval Woodcuts For Every Occasion woman looking into demon butt
via WikiMedia Commons

A special thanks to the many museums, universities, and other research institutions that make medieval woodcuts both available and accessible, mostly within the public domain.These images have been lightly cleaned up, but not significantly retouched otherwise. You can find many of the woodcuts within this post on The British Museum website. Please give them money so that they can continue unearthing spooky butt demons we can show you in posts like these. 

CC Calanthe

CC Calanthe

If you prick your finger and write “Cat Fancy” on your mirror during a harvest moon, CC will appear behind you and make you put human clothes on your pets. CC is Head Crone in Charge at POMEgranate Magazine, as well as the co-host of Moon Podcast Power MAKE UP!!
A collage featuring the top 10 crones of the year for 2023.

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