The Great British Bake-Off (AKA The Great British Baking Show) is on Netflix and I have been binging the show while knitting as a way to just ~~chill~~. I’ve completed Collection 1 and made it halfway through Collection 2, so I definitely feel qualified enough to begin the ultimate GBBO feat — taking fandoms and casting them as the series’s various bakers, hosts, and judges. We’ll start with the MCU, because everybody needs to walk away from Endgame with a hot take and this one is mine.
(Also, spoilers for Endgame and for GBBO Collection 1!!!!!!)
Mary Berry / Captain America
Everybody’s grandma that we all aspire to be. Is never mean to anybody, but will be disappointed in you when your sponge is underbaked and will let you know with a gentle look and firm words. The true soul of the show and when she leaves us baking will just be canceled in the UK forever. Cap inspires the entire squad to be their best superhero selves, and Mary Berry inspires all the bakers in the tent to keep their phyllo light, fluffy, and delicious.
Paul Hollywood / Iron Man
Extremely strong (and well-informed) opinions, very manicured hair, and a biting word that will make you question if baking really should even be your thing. He’s a baking genius but doesn’t play well with others (except Mary Berry, who he loves and admires because of her resolute skill and noble heart).
Mel Giedroyc & Sue Perkins / Shuri & Okoye
Here to keep everybody in line but also protect them from the cameras when necessary. Shuri’s quick wit and tendency to goof off lines up more with the most obvious traits we associate with Mel and Sue, as they steal Diana’s chocolate mousse or tell Paul and Mary to shove off before a technical challenge. While Okoye doesn’t share that effervescent personality, her loyalty to her comrades and her willingness to jump into the fray for them is 100% something I think the GBBO hosts would do for any of these bakers! (I’ve heard that they purposely try to mess up shots for the camera when a baker is having a hard time or about to cry, so that the show can’t use that footage!! I love them!!!)
Nancy Birtwhistle / Black Widow
Extremely good at what she does; has so much experience, and is generally good-natured and good-humored about it. Rolls with the (proverbial) punches and never lingers on mistakes she’s made — she only learns from them and moves on. Nancy wins the series and I think we can all agree that Natasha should have won her series, too.
Luis Troyano / Black Panther
Luis is a graphic designer by day, but a passionate baker by night! He uses his skills as a designer to really take his bakes to the next level, always surprising the judges with his innovations. This is basically what T’Challa does as he balances his life as bureaucrat and warrior, drawing the best from each to make the other better.
Richard Burr / Captain Marvel
Richard’s bakes are consistently delicious, and his skill and his friendly demeanor make him the GBBO’s Captain Marvel. A simple builder that everybody underestimates at first glance, but an excellent baker both from a technical and an artistic standpoint! People also tend to underestimate Carol Danvers (when she’s not a glowing, flying, punching space lady) and they almost always regret it.
Chetna Makan / Scarlet Witch
Made it so so far and did so so good! Performs consistently well with great flavors. She’s confident in her abilities but still finding ways to push and innovate her bakes. She’s generally kind and unflappable, but definitely disappointed in herself when her bakes don’t turn out. I think Chetna represents a mature version of Wanda, somebody I could see her evolving into!
Martha Collison / Spider-Man
The youngest of the group, the babiest, and surprisingly good at what she does for being so young!! Obviously looks up to the other bakers, and even the saltiest among them is secretly rooting for her. No other baker is as pure and nobody else could so perfectly be cast as Teen Spider-Man.
Kate Henry / The Hulk
A talented if inconsistent baker, I’m casting Kate as the Hulk because while she’s obviously skilled, she has a hard time delivering the same quality of bakes week-end after week-end. This is more representative of Infinity War Hulk, but I think we can all assume that after Kate is eliminated from the show, she probably took some time to really zen out and forge the competent, strong Professor Hulk we all know she can be!
Diana Beard / Star Lord
Kind grandma and accidental saboteur. Also pretty cheeky!! Peter Quill might not be a kindly grandma but I do think his affinity for Jokes and his proclivity for Pratt falls aligns with Diana’s attitude and performance in the tent.
Norman Calder / Dr. Strange
Very old fashioned, feels the old ways are best and why is everybody trying to decorate their sponges anyway?? Also keeps insisting it’s a “man’s cake,” which puts everybody off. Norman’s dedication to “the old ways” and his higher-than-average curmudgeon level really go with the vibes that Steven Strange is putting off.
Iain Watters / Thor
Gentle Irishman trying his best but gives up too easily. Takes losses hard and beats himself up about it! Iain is the best baker to cast as Endgame Thor — he’s got a beard, and when things get hard he panics and throws his bake right in the bin, just like Thor threw away his self-esteem.
Jordan Cox / Ant-Man
Jordan is the secret(?) weeb of the group, and a bit of a try-hard. Like basically all of the characters in the MCU, he has a great attitude and uses humor to get through tough situations, but his try-hard status makes him the most obvious casting choice for Ant-Man. Ant-Man is a good dude who slid into being a superhero on a banana peel, and has been constantly trying to prove that he’s Definitely Supposed to Be Here, and I have a feeling Jordan can relate to that.
Enwezor Nzegwu / Hawkeye
A very sweet family dude who used some store-bought fondant one time and was immediately eliminated. And as much as I love Clint Barton, maybe he should have been eliminated when the time came to choose, if you get my drift here.
Claire Goodwin / Nebula
Claire is good-hearted, has a great accent, loves what she does, and takes criticism personally. Outside of that last trait, I don’t think that Claire and Nebula have a ton in common, but it’s enough that I’m going to go ahead and make the casting call. These ladies can be real down on themselves, but I like to think that post-elimination Claire benefited from the same kind of sisterhood Nebula embraces in Endgame.
That’s my cast! I feel about as confident as somebody who has seen 11 years worth of MCU films and 1.5 seasons worth of GBBO, so take that as you will. But what have we learned?? Cake is delicious, saving the world is cool, and the real sponge is the friends we made along the way.
Ready! Set! ASSEMBLLLLEEEE!!!!