Google Image Search Suggestions to Improve Your Shitty Day

A Very Millennial Self-Care List

May 3, 2016 at 1:36 pm

Sometimes, life is just terrible and depressing. Maybe you woke up alone this morning after a rough and drawn-out breakup. Maybe you just went on Facebook and read literally any news coverage about the upcoming election. Maybe you just accidentally put cumin in your coffee instead of cinnamon and, out of desperation, decided to drink it anyway.

It doesn’t really matter why today might be a shitty day for you — it’s a shitty day and you’re in a shitty mood, and that’s okay. But what if I told you that there’s a way to instantly start feeling a little better without having to move your body, spend your money, or address any of the unresolved issue that are weighing you down right now?

Look: Google Image Search isn’t just a tool for helping bloggers steal artwork and photography or for finding Sonic the Hedgehog fanart of Donald Trump. It’s also a magical portal that can instantly take you to a land of perfect and wonderful things. The following Google Images search suggestions are keywords that will carry you via metaphorical rainbow to a place so magical and pure that your body will almost literally numb itself to the pain and frustration of everyday life, if only for a fleeting moment.

 


 

cats in raincoats

cat raincoat image search

The juxtaposition between how unhappy cats are to have to wear costumes against how happy cats are to avoid getting wet is a magical place.

 

Relevancy of search results:

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There are a lot of misleading chihuahuas in raincoats / tiny little piggies in rain boots cluttering up this search, but nothing that should take away from the experience too much.

 

dog flower costume

dog flower costumes

Dogs are already so happy to see you that their faces open like a flower opening towards the sun. What I’m saying is that to dogs, you are the sun. Behold these smiley dogs and feel joy and self-importance.

 

Relevancy of search results:

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Almost all of the search results are actually of dogs in flower costumes, so start preparing your heart now.

 

crone wisdom Pinterest

crone wisdom 1

Are you soothed by silver-haired elderly women surrounded by flowers or proudly sitting astride a majestic white horse? If so, this is your lucky day.

For this one, you have to get up a little closer to really drink it in:

crone wisdom 2

 

Relevancy of search results:

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These images would fit right in on your cool great aunt’s Facebook wall.

 

electronic mail tutorial Powerpoint

electronic mail

This search is essentially a window into people learning to internet adorably. These images fall into 2 categories: old people learning to send emails, and charming 90s / early 2000s people explaining the concept of β€œelectronic mail.”

 

effective-emailing-ppt-3-728

 

IT WAITS FOR YOU.

 

Relevancy of search results:

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Frankly, a lot of these search results are irrelevant but the relevant ones you find make the search worth it.

 

cute unlikely animal friendships dog wheels

dog wheels

This search was designed to pull in both tenacious little dogs making the best of a bad situation, and unlikely animal friendships that cast aside the laws of nature. Tigers cuddling with puppies. Monkies cuddling with birds. Two-legged puppies cuddling with ridiculously fluffy chickens. What a beautiful world we live in.

 

Relevancy of search results:

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Almost every image in this search helps weave a beautiful tapestry about life on this silly blue planet we call home.

 

rad grandmas

rad grandmas

It’s inspiring to see women who really couldn’t give a hoot what you think of them.

 

Relevancy of search results:

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It’s really important to add the β€œs” to β€œgrandmas,” or your results will be 80% trendy teens in β€œgrandma” outfits. Even still, the number of actual grandmas rapidly drops off after the first few rows of results.

 

tiny food

tiny food

 

Relevancy of search results:

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Shh. No words. Just little foods.

 

votes for women postcards cats

votes for women cats

Cats played a large role in vintage postcards, and a weirdly large role in suffrage-based postcards. This search also pulls in some grade A Victorian Men Misandry Nightmares to cackle over.

 

Relevancy of search results:

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Even the results that aren’t cats are pretty great, but there are a few too many suffragists-are-thirsty-harpies postcards caught in this net for my taste.

 

Vegeta badman

 

vegeta badman

Behold! It’s anime’s greatest dad! This search pulls in everything that’s great about Vegeta, and also everything that’s great about the goofy Dad Jokes side of heterosexual masculinity.

 

Relevancy of search results:

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The further in you go, the more cosplay / bizarre Vegeta fanart you see, so your mileage may vary depending on how much you enjoy those things.

 

cat Thanksgiving

cat thanksgiving
The sincerity behind cat Thanksgiving costumes will warm even the coldest heart.

 

Relevancy of search results:

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Search results are pretty on-point for this one, but if searching these keywords brought you even one image of a cat in a turkey costume, it will have been worth it.

 

trains

trains
Is there any sight more serene or more perfect than a locomotive winding its way through the heartland of this great nation / a European city / my dreams?

 

Relevancy of search results:

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Carolynn Calabrese

If you prick your finger and write β€œCat Fancy” on your mirror during a harvest moon, CC will appear behind you and make you put human clothes on your pets. CC is Head Crone in Charge at POMEgranate Magazine, as well as the co-host of Moon Podcast Power MAKE UP!!