#popculture

Riverdale Roundtable 4: “The Town That Dreaded Sundown”

We need emotional support in these trying times of Archie being a dummy and no witches at all

Welcome to Riverdale Roundtable: a recap series where we chat about all the drama and sexy intrigue from last week’s Riverdale — just in time to get you up-to-speed for tonight’s episode. Today we’re talking about the fourth episode of Season 2: “The Town That Dreaded Sundown.” Join us as we drag basically everybody in this show except for Ronnie and Fred Andrews, because everybody is garbage and we’re disappointed in them all. CC is out this week, but Jenny and Rachel of plenty of feelings to tide us over until the whole crew returns for next week’s episode.

Please note: this recap includes Extreme Spoilers for this episode, as well as the entirety of Season One. We warned you!!

 


 

Rachel: ok so!!!
I hated this episode

Jenny: it was not good!
but ofc you dislike that jug is being shown for the trash boy he is

Rachel: lol
yes Jug is not really shining at all here

 

 

Jenny: I KNOW IT

Rachel: I’m glad Kev was there to stand up for Bets

Jenny: he’s a good dude
i’m glad she made an effort to include him in this
it feels like she’s making an effort to mend that friendship after she was not great last week

Rachel: me too! I’m also glad she didn’t fall into the jealous girlfriend trap
like when Jug was like “oh yeah me and Toni….” it would have been easy for them to write Betty like “UGHHH TONIIIII?????? WHO IS THIS BITCH”

Jenny: yes!
she’s really trying to be nice!
and inclusive

Rachel: because Bets is nice!
and values female friendship

Jenny: YEAH!
but also wtf jug
you can’t collaborate on this time-sensitive problem with more than one person???

Rachel: right????????
also not admitting he knows Archie with the Serpents
he’s being so sketch and I do not like him

Jenny: yeah p sketch
archie’s kind of shit but he would’ve stood up for jug if the situation had been reversed

Rachel: yeah!!
ugh Archie in this dang episode though

Jenny: ughughughughugh

Rachel: Archie what have you become
(an actual wannabe murderer is what!!!!!!!)

 

 

Jenny: wilbur wilkins has a lot of rage issues

Rachel: Wilbur needs to see a therapist
also is that a classic Archie comics reference, Jenny?? you’re my girl for that stuff

Jenny: wilbur wilkin was a spin off character — a few appearances but mostly his own comic
all these scenes, i was just like VANDALISM ARCHIE?! WHAT’S FUCKING NEXT?? Oh. apparently POINTING GUNS AT PEOPLE!! APPARENTLY THAT’S WHAT’S FUCKING NEXT.
FIGHTING IN THE STREETS??

Rachel: UGH YEAH
lol when Principal Weatherbee came down on Archie

Jenny: fucking finally

 

 

Rachel: i kept thinking YOU’VE DONE THIS WEATHERBEE

Jenny: RIGHT

Rachel: YOU ALLOWED THIS

Jenny: YOU MADE YOUR BED
but NOW he wants to collaborate w the police

Rachel: but his face in this screenshot was me the whole dang episode

Jenny: right
this was me

 

 

Jenny: but yeah prin. weatherbee — like i get that sheriff keller has been a bad sheriff for a long time, but he’s really trying now and it took too long to get on his level

Rachel: yeah!
awww Sheriff Keller

Jenny: i know

Rachel: he’s trying

Jenny: he’s finally trying
and he just has to deal w madchen calling him out at that town hall like he’s not REALLY TRYING
like
i love her
but she sucks
but i love her

Rachel: god she super does

 

 

Jenny: the black hood is obviously SO TERRIFIED of this Wine Mom^TM and that’s why he’s specifically targeting her daughter???

Rachel: delusions of grandeur, for sure
OH but what was GOING ON with Hiram and Hermione at that Town Hall????

Jenny: ughughugh
i have no clue

Rachel: what are they planning!!!!!!!
it’s fucking me up

Jenny: like
he was talking some shit about how he’s just loving all the chaos and confusion going around rn
and like
ofc

 

 

Jenny: you would love it you two-faced bitch

Rachel: he’s just so obviously plotting but I do not get Hermione’s motivations here at all

Jenny: me neither
she gave that whole speech about “blind loyalty” and
i can’t tell if it’s a cry for help or if she thinks that’s NOT her situation
like, i am fine but your behavior is unhealthy v
ughughugh

Rachel: yeah if it’s the former, that’s a good move on the writer’s part
but if it’s the latter, that’s dumb

Jenny: i mean yes
i am tempted to believe it’s the latter bc when do these writers ever make good moves
there would be way more sabrina if they knew what they were doing

Rachel: lol also true
they really need to be reading our roundtables, taking notes

Jenny: honestly

Rachel: we have some Strong Feelings we need them to convey

Jenny: we are v insightful

Rachel: so true
and we are a delight

Jenny: YES
i will say though that this was a good ep for veronica

Rachel: yes!!!!!!!

 

 

Rachel: Good Looks

Jenny: i’m glad they brought back her sneaking-around cape

Rachel: it’s the best piece of outerwear I have ever seen

Jenny: honestly
fact

 

 

Jenny: YES

Rachel: SO GOOD
Veronica being her best Veronica self

Jenny: she is really trying, i think, to undo the damage her dad has done
which is a nice carry-over from last season
but also i LOVED that she confronted him about it

 

 

Jenny: “My boyfriend is cute as a button, but he’s simple.” — Veronica Lodge

Rachel: like, she’s SEES you Hiram
she SEES WHAT YOU’RE DOING

Jenny: if someone were to TAKE ADVANTAGE OF HIM, well then they would have to deal w me

Rachel: to that extent, she is her father’s daughter

Jenny: right

Rachel: he taught her to protect what she cares about, so now she’s doing that

Jenny: yeah
but w much better judgement and some willingness to sympathize w those negatively affected (like w ethel’s family last season)
ALSO

 

 

Jenny: IF YOU IDIOTS INSIST ON FIGHTING
honestly

Rachel: “troglodytes”
so good!!!!

Jenny: she did that
SHE DID THAT
i don’t think i have it in me to MC a gang fight
but she did it w APLOMB

Rachel: hell yeah
at first I was like NO RONNIE CALL THE POLICE
but she knew she still had the gun, and would have the power to stop it

Jenny: yeah
she was in control, i think
as much as any 15yo could be in control of that situation
certainly better than me @24
bc that was A MESS
i think dilton doiley stabbed himself in the thigh??

Rachel: also bless Kevin for being the only person in the world to recognize that these are supposed to be teens

 

 

Jenny: a good dude
also when they’re breaking up the red hood at the start of this ep
and they’re like
complaining about being helpless
like — THAT IS A MAJOR PART OF ADOLESCENCE
FUCKING TEENS! YOU ARE HELPLESS! YOU ARE MINORS! YOUTHS

Rachel: lol

Jenny: accepting that is something you have to do before you’re allowed to live in the real world
and interact w other people

Rachel: preach!!!!

Jenny: share a kitchen

Rachel: and a bathroom!!!!!
pay rent!!!!
what nerds

Jenny: i know it

Rachel: yo I think you’re right about Dilton though

Jenny: he fucking blows

Rachel: I wasn’t 100% sure what went down, but it def seemed to be like he stabbed himself in order to get the Serpents in real trouble

Jenny: i hate that kid

Rachel: yeah I do not trust him
sketchy as hell

Jenny: yeah
also, backtracking a little to betty’s code-breaking party

 

 

Jenny: SO FUN

Rachel: lol
she’s tRYING JUG
UNLIKE SOMEBODY

Jenny: she IS
she IS TRYING

Rachel: pulling my hair out over here
taking out my damn ponytail

Jenny: like
who would know about her library record
as a child

Rachel: RIGHT
AND WAS THERE AT THE JUBILEE
WHY IS NOBODY ASKING THESE QUESTIONS

 

 

Jenny: could it be…..
that librarian from the beginning
????

Rachel: OH MY GOD
what if it’s
THE REAL MS GRUNDY

Jenny: ok
honestly i was thinking about this earlier
what if it’s like in And Then There Were None
and Grundy faked her death
so that she wouldn’t be a suspect

Rachel: holy fucking shit

Jenny: i mean
if the Madam Satan comment from last season wasn’t a fucking hint
like, she’s a demon
and the only truly guilty party yet to be targeted by the “black hood”
but she could probably possess whatever form she wants

Rachel: woah

Jenny: she could be this green-eyed monster
easy
also what if that’s a clue
someone who’s jealous of archie’s life
maybe that’s the obsession w betty
like they felt he was a fool to have spurned her?
(looking at you dilton doiley)

Rachel: somebody who is mad he choose Ronnie over Betty???
OMG this is just a metaphor FOR SHIPPING WARS
FUCKKKK

Jenny: GENIUS

Rachel: I need to go lie down
if that’s what it is, they’re really getting to the crux of the original comics conceit there
wow

Jenny: i mean that would be some GOOD WRITING

Rachel: YEAH
I would forgive a lot if that was the case lol
like, I doubt it will be but
u never know

Jenny: yeah
i mean
i do not believe that this writer’s room is THAT good
BUT
even a blind squirrel
y’know

Rachel: etc etc, for sure
ok one thing I would like to complain about
is the name of this dumb episode
“The Town That Dreaded Sundown”
like, hOW DARE YOU
I’m mad
and then you shoehorn it in in Jug’s narration
I’m mad that I had to hear that pseudo-rhyming nonsense
an assault to my dang sensibilities

Jenny: i mean fair
but also i don’t think the voiceover narration has ever been anything but kind of obnoxious and v cheesy

Rachel: also v true
haha like I know it’s trivial but I can’t help it

Jenny: oh it’s not trivial
framing devices are important
but i will say that w a title like that i would’ve thought there would be more ghosts or vampires or some shit
idk
maybe even
WITCHES?????

Rachel: AHHHH RIGHT
why are they just dangling this in front of us
it’s cruel, at this point

Jenny: they went so hard the first couple eps and then last week and this week they’ve just given us NOTHING

Rachel: it’s extremely frustrating

Jenny: i’ve got blue crystal balls over here is all i’m saying

Rachel: also every episode is presented like it’s the pivotal moment in the story

Jenny: and it’s not

Rachel: IT’S NOT

Jenny: so much of this i would cut

Rachel: nothing even really HAPPENED

Jenny: like
there was a fight
the murderer started targeting betty
idk
what else
no witches

Rachel: not even one
Jug was a turd

Jenny: that’s true
(but what else is new)
(hey oh)

Rachel: Madchen was almost relatable until she wasn’t

Jenny: yeah
she did have a good scene about being concerned about her daughters

Rachel: yeah!! I almost liked her!!!!!

Jenny: but it was also kind of more about betty keeping info from her
and her wanting to control polly’s life

Rachel: yep

Jenny: but she was a real pistol at the town hall
not like a good pistol
but like a chaotic pistol

Rachel: I kept waiting for somebody to be like
“isn’t Madchen from the southside tho???”

Jenny: right???
has the town forgotten???
i have not

Rachel: same

Jenny: at least fred was great

 

 

Rachel: Fred never disappoints

Jenny: she tried to use him
as like a victim
to motivate gutting the southern budget and bolstering the pd
but like
fuck you
a stronger police force is not the answer
come on alice

Rachel: yeah she was like “we’ll just close the school” and then those kids will go???? somewhere else????

Jenny: right??
like
they’ll go to riverdale high
is where they’ll go
and you’ll be upset about that too

Rachel: there flaws in your logic, Alice
also, I love how Hal has faded into the background

Jenny: right

Rachel: nobody talks about what a shit he was, but at least he doesn’t get any air time

Jenny: he had like three seconds of screentime
he was installing a lock while alice rolled her eyes

Rachel: lol

Jenny: perf
and yeah
i’d rather have no hal than shit hal

Rachel: I mean I feel bad for betty that her parents don’t have a good relationship but honestly he’s terrible and so is Madchen

Jenny: there’s not a whole lot of hope
not until alice fucks fp and finally chills out

Rachel: lol
oh!!!! but we did get one look at Cheryl’s mom!!!!
at the Town Hall!
she looked good

Jenny: briefly
yeah
healing

Rachel: like, surprisingly not covered in bandages

Jenny: probs all those evil greenhouse herbs
working their magic

Rachel: you know, that’ll do it
also, this was another episode with basically no Cheryl

Jenny: i know
i hate it

Rachel: this is how I really know that the writers aren’t reading our roundtables

Jenny: honestly

Rachel: there would be 200% more Cheryl otherwise
if not more

Jenny: but it does make you wonder
cheryl’s screentime has gone down in direct proportion to the witch references

Rachel: AN EXCELLENT POINT

Jenny: maybe supports my cheryl’s a witch theory
or maybe supports my “this writer’s room doesn’t care about my feelings” theory

Rachel: hmm true
only time can tell

Jenny: i am SO READy
for the vague 2018 sabrina series

Rachel: it’s really what’s keeping me going

Jenny: why i get out of bed in the morning

Rachel: god maybe we should do roundtables of just the trailers for Sabrina that come out

Jenny: YES
i will have a lot of thoughts

Rachel: it might seem like excess but I really just think we’ll need to let out our feelings in some tangible way

Jenny: i mean yeah these are really cathartic

Rachel: 100% agree

Jenny: we need emotional support in these trying times of archie being a dummy and no witches at all

Rachel: lol
ok! final thoughts?

Jenny: yea
idk if you noticed this
it was p early on and archie was walking down a hallway
and the music over the scene was just this god-awful remix of the words “The Black Hood”
so my final thought is:
ban remixes
fire this music director

Rachel: YES I DID
I kept thinking
I wish I could screencap this terrible sound

Jenny: it’s SO BAD

Rachel: really, really, really bad
hmmm well my final thought is
KJ Apa is so obviously not a teen that even that terrible and obviously fake ID didn’t ring any alarm bells

Jenny: he’s TOO RIPPED

Rachel: make teens awkward again

Jenny: but also he is actually like 19
or he was last season

Rachel: omg is hE REALLY
NOOOOOOO

Jenny: damn society, making teens hot

Rachel: ahhh!!!!!!!!!

Jenny: a real problem in all honesty

Rachel: I need this addressed at the national level
can a girl get some dang legislation to ban hot teens

Jenny: 1997
typing that made me feel dirty

Rachel: OMG HE’S 20
NOOOOOOOOO

Jenny: i know

Rachel: *crumbles into dust*

 

Rachel Weiss

Rachel is a big weirdo that likes to design in Photoshop and code in JavaScript. She is pro-feminism, pro-crones, and pro-dogs. She's also Boss Crone at POMEgranate Magazine, and one day hopes to be able to drink her tea without so much milk and sugar.

Jenny Mott

Jenny is just a Silly Nerd with a lot of Feelings about Comic Books and Friendship and also This Capitalist Yoke We All Share; she enjoys Dogs and Sleeping and Cartoons. Her three favorite words are: Breakfast All Day.

© 2014 - 2017 Rachel Weiss and Jenny Mott and POMEgranate Magazine

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