Welcome back to Romance Roundtable: a feature where the editorial POME Crones gather together to discuss Romance Manga. Join us for our spiciest Romance Roundtable yet as we cover Yakuza Lover by Nozomi Mino: an absolutely R-rated romance between a bold, fearless college student and a beautiful twink yakuza boss.
Be warned: we did our best to keep today’s roundtable PG13, but you may not want folks peeping at your screen during this one!
Jenny: this book was a RIDE!!
Rachel: HEH HEH
wink wink wink wink
CC: absolutely
so right at the top, I want to provide a warning
I tried to censor some of my screenshots but they only looked more indecent L M A O
Ashley: HAHAHA
CC: so, reader discretion advised: also for the juicy stuff you may wanna head on over to our Ko-Fi 😉
Jenny: do we want to do a quick summary?
violent but purehearted youth falls in love w a yakuza underboss
Jenny: absolute legend with the end table
CC: chaerith personified
Ashley: i think it is important to note that she falls in love with him AFTER witnessing an attempt on his life (while she was trying to return a favor he did her)
this wasn’t like, OOPS this “nice guy” turned out to be extremely dangerous man
she falls in love with the danger
Jenny: sure, yes. but i do also think it’s worth mentioning that this is the first impression he leaves
Ashley: AND with the drip, yes, jenny LOL
Jenny: yes he comes in and is v gentlemanly
but then also he does give her his card, which is like — mr oya, yakuza boss
CC: ok so
the business card thing
absolutely ridiculous but it was the first part of my theory about this book
which is that it is basically
what if yakuza / ryu ga gotoku video game man Goro Majima was a twink and also a harlequin romance guy and he kissed me in the mouth
i’ve got receipts
and i have been dying to share them
case in point
oya:
CC: goro
Ashley: LOLLLLLL omg
this is not my fandom so i’m just ready for this ride
CC: oya
CC: goro
CC: oya
CC: goro
Rachel: CC, i see this evidence
when it comes down to it, are you positing that… Majima fucks???
because i believe it
Jenny: will also note oya’s bangs are not so different from goro’s eye patch
Ashley: LMAO
Jenny: i know nothing of the yakuza franchise, but i can tell from that last picture that this guy fucks
CC: ok so first
absolutely majima absolutely does
kiryu, the main protag: debatable
also majima is, in cannon, everyone’s idol goro
howEVER he is a total weirdo freak
unlike Oya
but if you flattened out all of the freaky parts to get a romance novel hero guy, i posit: this is it
(i love everyone’s weirdo lil freak idol goro majima. full disclaimer: he is my number one boy)
![Yakuza 0 - Karaoke - 24-Hour Cinderella [Cinematic]](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/VD6__C2Ht6M/hqdefault.jpg)
Ashley: oh my GOD?????
CC: yakuza* lover: it me
thank u for coming to my ted talk
Jenny: sometimes i get p down on the world around me and the concept of humanity, but little things like this really bring me back around
the roller skates!
Ashley: hahahahahaha. yes, we are at our best when we are simply committed to having a nice time
CC: i love that in 2022 we all found a group of boys to love and these are mine
but back to this actual book!! L O L
i love that this book is committed to its smut
everyone’s idol oya goes downtown
u love 2 see it
Jenny: it’s true it’s true
Ashley: very happy for this young lady that her first sexual experience was overwhelmingly positive
also the increasing size of the pomes LMAO. so sinister
Jenny: yeah good 4 her tbh
i mean
Jenny: she is 20yo
and she really seems to know what she wants??
could not be me, but i’m glad it worked out for her
Ashley: lolllll i also screenshotted this. extremely focused
CC: you know, i think they have that in common
they know what they want!
Jenny: this part was great
Ashley: oh yes! and they’re both incredibly straightforward
Jenny: right before this, he takes her to his closet full of beautiful women’s clothing that he just seems to HAVE
and is like, “i’m not giving you this stuff to thank you for returning my coat. I am trying to seduce you.”
Ashley: PRECISELY LOL
Rachel: how old do we think Oya is?? do we know??
Ashley: he says he’s an “old man” so i’m assuming 30 tops
CC: i think it says 28 in there somewhere but I forgot to screenshot it so idk
does that sound familiar or did i dream it L O L
Jenny: ah yeah i only saw older than 20
CC: yeah hmmm I have no proof to back it up so honestly not sure! my bad yall
Jenny: lol np np we can just say he’s 28
could be worse, age-difference-wise
but this protag is incredibly baby
kind of reminds me of Cutie and the Beast
where like, she is Young and you can tell
but also her youth isn’t the thing that the love interest is into, necessarily
CC: yeah he falls for her ability to hit dudes with a chair
oya just like
Ashley: which like…. same, my guy. huge same
Rachel: 1000%
CC: i do like this about her
CC: continuous throughout the story
L O L
Jenny: yes we love to see it
Ashley: speaking of which, this artist is setting the bar HIGH for extremely humorous facial reacts / physical comedy
Jenny: yes! speaking of
Jenny: i mean, that’s the same joke twice, but still
Rachel: THE TRHOBBING
i have read a lot of smut in my day and never have i seen throbbing sfx
Ashley: and yet… it’s like, AH YES. fits right in
Jenny: oh ho ho ho ho
Ashley: the absolutely unmistakable horniness of young adulthood
Jenny: that’s not the only thing that’s going to Fit Right In
Rachel: HEH HEH HEH
Ashley: P H E W
CC: so ok, speaking of young love
I absolutely love the absolute cringe of their international summer vacation trip
the tl;dr of which being
CC: this is why i think he can’t be all that much older than her
idk how long you can be a hardboiled yakuza type with this little meow meow energy
Rachel: i mean he definitely seems like he is the type who is actually young but is always talking about how old he is
Ashley: absoLUTELY
Rachel: i am also this way and can recognize my own behavior
Ashley: lololol
Jenny: crone life oya
Ashley: here’s the thing… with the note on formal occasions i thought this was going into shotgun wedding territory
HOWEVER i was delighted that it was simply “i will enthusiastically look like an absolute tool to please my beloved gf”
CC: absolutely my favorite part of that scene was absolutely every single person dunking on them
Ashley: so goooooooood hahaha
the definition of down bad
Jenny: LOL
CC: i mean they say to kill the part that cringes
which clearly he has done
Jenny: and genuinely there were select parts of this sequence that were p cute
Jenny: like, they clearly had a nice time and i love that for them
Rachel: let’s talk about this tiger boy who is about to ruin everything
Jenny: LOL YES
Jenny: the russian mobster who finds him in shanghai
and his pet tiger!!
Ashley: siberian, of course!
CC: i just wanna say, kiryu has to fight an actual tiger in yakuza 2
Jenny: a rich text!!
CC: i am reading it as homage just as a personal choice LOL
Rachel: ichiban also fights a tiger!
a classic yakuza thing, apparently
Ashley: i think that’s extremely likely to be intentional
CC: incredible
i am v curious about tiger mafia guy
i don’t know how this story could support a love triangle but i wonder if that’s where it’s going
Jenny: oh good point
i don’t think it’ll go into love triangle territory but i’ve been wrong before
Rachel: honestly i could def see this going reverse harem!!
Jenny: whoo
CC: oooh interesting
Rachel: all the yakuza/mobsters of the world love our girl
Ashley: AHHHHHHH MY WEAKNESS
Jenny: cannot wait for the italian stereotype to show up and it’s actually just a yakuza/mario crossover
Ashley: lmaoooo
i mean, yuri and oya definitely have a “monogamy is extremely my kink” kind of vibe
but i could see the russian’s heart being melted
Jenny: oh agreed
Ashley: a sort of like, “good job bro” moment
CC: russian mafia guy of the simp clan
Jenny: LOL
Ashley: 💀
CC: i hope she friendzones every hardboiled underworld guy
i love that for her
Jenny: i mean i can def see the ‘around the world in 40 mob bosses’ plot coming up after this:
CC: LMAO
Ashley: let’s goooooo
CC: prediction
Ashley: yuri making oya dress in traditional attire in every country
Jenny: lol yes yes yes
Ashley: shakespeare ruff with codpiece
beret and neck scarf
kente cloth
Jenny: a little “tony soprano costume” from spirit halloween
Ashley: hahahahahahaha
CC: so if y’all are ready for final thoughts, here’s mine:
more of a question than a thought but
i wonder if subsequent volumes will show butt and if so, does Oya have butt tattoos
Rachel: OOOH
yes
i hope so
(to both questions)
Jenny: good q good q — i’m betting yes
the only point of evidence i have to support this is that i went to highschool w a guy who got a weird (kind of racist) asian-fusion style back tattoo and it did go all the way onto his butt
Ashley: OOP
CC: i don’t know very much about actual yakuza like at all, full disclaimer, but some of the characters in the yakuza game series have the butt tattoo
idk what the significance is
Ashley: i feel like this is a trope i have seen in film as well
Jenny: another good piece of evidence in favor!
CC: there was an interview with actual yakuza about what they thought about the series
Jenny: 👀
CC: and they were making fun of one of the characters who only had the tattoos on his back like “what happened to the rest of his ink” lmao
Ashley: hahahahaha
Jenny: LOLOLOLOLOL
Ashley: that’s a lot of work for the devs, bro!
CC: source, for any yakuza lovers who are curious
Ashley: nice
Rachel: ok so my final thought, building on the hypothetical questions
or more like, what i hope we get in future volumes, but i don’t think we will
if there was ever a couple i hope explores pegging, its this one
every time i see oya, i just think
Jenny: LOLOLOLOL
yes yes would love to see it
Ashley: TRULY
Jenny: my final thought is just that i wanted to share this russian tiger rescue place bc i think it’s cute
and i hope this russian mob love interest sourced his pet tiger humanely
Ashley: omg cuuuuuuuuuuuuute
Rachel: the singing as he drives away!!
CC: a big kitty!!!!
Jenny: this is the kind of content i’d like to see out of this big cat
like, probably that is how yuri gets the russian guy to fall in love w her
by playing w the tiger like it’s a big kitty
Rachel: omg yes
Ashley: okay, my final thought is SO DUMB but i could not stop thinking it
Jenny: LOL
Rachel: HAHAHAHAHHA
Ashley: like…. the 50 Shades of Weebness
Jenny: yakuza!mamoru
i cannot unsee it
Ashley: this book just has perfect feverish fanfic manic energy (edited)
Rachel: it really does!!!
Jenny: perhaps especially the summer vacation meow meow bit
Ashley: TRULY!!!
Jenny: thrilled that this is out here getting published
Ashley: mere inches away from songfic territory
Jenny: ready to throw my money at it immediately
Ashley: same
Join us next time for even more love story shouting in our next Romance Roundtable! In the meantime, Monthly Ko-Fi members: head on over to Ko-Fi for just a few bonus goofs that didn’t make it into today’s roundtable, as a treat.
All images via Yakuza Lover by Nozomi Mino, unless otherwise specified.