A Very Chilling Sabrina Roundtable: Season 3, Episode 6

The Bad Witch Booze Hour

March 11, 2020 at 9:00 am

Welcome to A Very Chilling Sabrina Roundtable: a recap series where we chat about the chills, thrills, and top shelf witchery in Netflix’s The Chilling Adventures of Sabrina. On one hand, this episode includes a handful of hedge witches & some next-level dramatic exits. On the other: buckle in for a whole lot of sadness.

CC: SIGH
OKAY
LET’S TALK ABOUT THIS

Jenny: it was so much
too much?
before we get too into it:
i checked IMDB and hilda, zelda, and dr c are all on the cast list for the finale

CC: better not be flashbacks etc
BETTER NOT BE

Rachel: i’ll FLIP if it is

CC: I stg if Dr C is not revived or confirmed alive by the end of this season I’m out!!!!

Jenny: firmly agree

CC: the proportion of suffering to not suffering in this show has tipped too far into only suffering!!!!!

Rachel: before we get too far: episode summary??

CC: v fair let’s do it

Jenny: lol hilda goes full spider mutant, traps and eats a wayward southside serpent, cocoons dr c; BUT to make all of this hurt more, they FINALLY gave us not one but TWO scenes of hilda and dr c hanging out and being in love!! and i live for it!!

Rachel: it’s true #GoingSteady vibes!!

Jenny: also i guess they’re making calibanXsabrina a thing officially — he proposed a political alliance (marriage), and she has not said no, exactly. mostly, sabrina did a spell to cut off all of the feelings she had for nick AND harvey so that’s definitely not going to backfire
also zelda was kind of a xenophobic asshole and spent a lot of this ep ordering people around?? and then mary wardwell shot her and she’s dying

Rachel: they are spending a lot of episode time trying to hint that HARVEY has been in love with SABRINA and not ROZ this whole time!!!!! which I HATE

Jenny: I HATE IT

CC: SO GROSS
also not even really implied by the show itself til this moment

Jenny: Aphrodite has rejected his love for roz as being fake

Rachel: what does aphrodite even know

CC: LMAO rachel I was thinking the same thing

Jenny: but i would like to submit that it is these writers’ understandings of human relationships that is fake

CC: didn’t you know:
the first person you fell in love with is your one true love
that can never be altered by time, or adult relationships where you meet as fully formed humans???
gotta be the very first person you kiss at 16 years old only

Jenny: oh yeah that’s just science
also science:

Jenny: Special epoxy
definitely not craft store epoxy

Rachel: i laughed out loud at this

CC: etsy epoxy

Rachel: you know he’s just going to Joann’s

CC: LOL

Jenny: but he does it in a whirl of flame, so it’s still cool

CC: was that even necessary

Jenny: he’s a dramatic bitch!

Rachel: honestly i do appreciate and respect a good exit
if i could, i’d exit every room that way too

Jenny: same!

CC: ok, ok fair enough
caliban never looked more like a baby hemsworth clone than in this episode

Jenny: truly

Jenny: it was nice to see him making an effort imo
put on a shirt and everything

Rachel: look at him in this tshirt he stole from a target
prince of hell indeed

CC: wasn’t even a tuxedo shirt tho
show some respect
jk he definitely has that holister ad circa 2004 Look tho for sure

Jenny: LOL
v real
also
just on the subject of caliban and also these writers being garbage

Jenny: i think this is one of those times where i forget that this is a show for children
but also doesn’t every middle school english teacher have a greek mythology segment?
hasn’t every teen read those damn rick riordan books?

Rachel: lol i haven’t but i did go through a greek mythology wikipedia hole at some point

Jenny: how has she gotten this far w/o having seen my fair lady??

CC: agreed
maybe Kids Today ™ will only see it if there’s a remake

Jenny: lol ok

CC: [yells from my porch while shaking a newspaper vaguely threateningly at the sky]

Jenny: in any case, when caliban tells sabrina the myth of pygmalion (which — bad, btw; not beautiful) she’s just like: wow that’s beautiful
bad writing

Rachel: i just don’t like this sandman world
where for some reason all the mythologies exist but don’t interact
stupid
it only works in sandman and i will not accept it anywhere else!!

Jenny: truly!
you know who else won’t accept it??

Jenny: She Is a CATH-O-LIC
mambo marie is not hear to TEACH us or HELP us LEARN AND GROW

CC: while I hated Zelda here so much
I submit to the academy,
for your consideration

Rachel: i mean, i ship it

Jenny: lol yes she came around
but also this was a great moment for prudence!!
we were just talking last week about how we wanted more of the old prudence and she’s out here! doing things! making her own decisions!
and i love that for her

Rachel: yes!!!!
prudence has come in to her own power and it’s finally showing
the writers are finally giving her things that exhibit that new space she’s occupying in the coven
i got real nervous about this interaction at first
but i’m with prudence – i’m here for Mambo and Zelda to make eyes at each other now

Jenny: hell yes

CC: more of that and also the bad witch booze hour and less of literally everything else in this episode LOL

Jenny: lol v fair

Rachel: lol yes the booze hour was very practical magic

Jenny: TRULY!!
but also while we’re on the subject of people making eyes at each other

Jenny: i feel like SO MANY THINGS happened in this episode???

Rachel: agh i still hate how lilith is out here on her own, doing what she can to survive
i hate that sabrina didn’t warn her and i hate that the coven isn’t helping her

Jenny: i know!!
she deserves so much!!
everything!
for one:

Jenny: how can you not help someone who looks this good!!
what a LOOK!!!

CC: how tf dare they honestly

Jenny: and watching zelda reject her! heartbreaking!

Jenny: YOU WERE THE ONE WHO DECIDED TO PRAY TO HER!
THIS WAS YOUR IDEA!

CC: lilith gets more done before breakfast than the whole cast of this show gets done all day

Rachel: oh also can we talk about the timeline of this episode
it’s just like 1 single day????
nick breaks up with her and hours later she’s just like “yeah… nick and i broke up………. like, just now….”

Rachel: THIS IS LIKE 4 HOURS LATER

CC: OH YEAH
jeez
have any of them slept in like
a week?

Rachel: unclear
there’s just a lot going on and i feel like the threads are getting lost

Jenny: no wonder they’re making such bad decisions

CC: oh
speaking of bad decisions
alright so: I’ve never been more unhappy to be right with my predictions but
while I am all for mary wardwell getting her vengeance
the dark lord’s priest cosplay
it was gross

i hate this and i hate him

Jenny: too right

Rachel: it made me sad that wardwell gave lilith up so easily

Jenny: this whole scene — I was CONVINCED that Mary was Lilith in disguise here
and actual mary was conked out somewhere
and i guess the fact that mary was actually mary the whole time was unexpected? in the sense that i expected a twist? i expected some depth?? i expected the basics from these writers???
is it actually genius that everything is exactly as it seems??

Rachel: honestly it’s so hard for me to evaluate this show sometimes
like it doing something i don’t expect is good, but also i feel like how it actually unfolded was disappointing

CC: yeah like
after everything this episode did to us
i just wanted
ONE THING
just like ONE SMALL THING here
some kind of clever subterfuge
also for all the crap zelda has done lately i did not like that she died for the dark lord’s crime

Rachel: yeah that sucks
i guess to the dark lord’s credit, he successfully turned a ‘good christian’ into a straight up murderer

Jenny: oooh good point
would love to see mary wardwell grapple w that
like yeah she was a witch but she was also your neighbor!
would love to see mary wardwell put some pieces together
solve the mystery of her missing memories
still waiting on that

CC: also like: look, mary, my dude:
if the devil could be anybody
anybody AT ALL
maaaaybe it could also be the sketchy as hell local tv commercial extra priest who just banged on your door in what seems like the middle of the night
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
i mean who’s to say, really

Rachel: glad they kept the actor for Adam on retainer just for this very brief cameo i guess

CC: good for him lol

Rachel: i mean, get that work, for sure

Jenny: you know who else i was happy to see return?

Jenny: our girl gryla – frost witch of the mountains
but also all of the hedge witches were great???

CC: river witch
love

Jenny: but also the way ambrose went through and logged what each of them does
felt very lazy in much the same way that the pygmalion explanation felt lazy

Rachel: lol 100%
these witches seem cool, would be nice if they could be woven in in a way that is interesting
instead of ambrose doing a brief AMA with each

Jenny: lol
yeah this ep was v busy and also just v exposition-heavy?
like so much happened and so much got explained
perhaps esp the clarification we got on this bullshit

Jenny: which, i feel like we mostly knew? but good to get confirmed

Rachel: i know we’ve said this before, but the emphasis on virginity in this arc is just a thing i think is gross

Jenny: very agree
esp in media designed for kids and teens
feels weird

CC: yeah — very much agreed and also like
can’t we just have a couple of teens decide whether or not they want to take that step without supernatural consequences???

Jenny: is that so much to ask??

CC: feels v buffy honestly

Jenny: you’re not wrong
perhaps esp

Jenny: wasn’t that the thing w angel? like, if he felt true happiness he would lose his soul — so to keep loving buffy he had to leave? (or w/e)

CC: something like that

Jenny: v complicated

CC: ughhhhhhh
before we wrap up, I do want to talk about the subject I at least have been trying to avoid
did
did hilda lay spider eggs in dr c or just drain his blood
god
what a question to have to ask

Rachel: i don’t know!!!!!!
it seems like he’s dead, she said it and i think zelda did too

Jenny: i want to say that she just mummified him? for later use?
unclear
he is on the cast list for the finale, but i guess that doesn’t mean much
if he’s for real dead i’m out

Rachel: i’m also out

CC: me 3

Rachel: i can’t handle the fact that he’s dead and hilda killed him

CC: how dare this show

Jenny: took the ONE GOOD THING

Rachel: well that’s a good segway to my final thought
if y’all are ready?

Jenny: go for it

CC: god never more ready

Rachel: ok i love hilda and dr. cee, it is known
but this —

Jenny: LOL you called it!!

Rachel: love that they’re doing local theatre together but maybe SWEENEY TODD isn’t as romantic as people think it is???
(it’s definitely not)
doesn’t Todd kill her at the end?????

Jenny: that sounds right

CC: i have never seen a musical* so i am not sure but yeah that sounds right to me!

Jenny: my final thought is coming back to prudence
she was so good in this episode! making decisions! taking action!
but also!
she was sure to make time to read hilda’s horny book to the dorcas statue! just in case she could still hear and was just super bored!

Jenny: loved this little insight into what she’s up to when sabrina’s not around!

CC: GOD
MY HEART
ok, my final thought is simple
and also more of a feeling
and it’s all i’ve got left in me rn

CC: I thought this one would never come back around but honestly:

Rachel: TAKE NOTES, RAS

CC: HIRE THE SALEM PUPPET RAS

Jenny: HIRE HIM!!

In the mood for even more Chilling Adventures of Sabrina Hot Takes? Head on over to our Patreon and check out some extra content we couldn’t fit into this post.

Carolynn Calabrese

If you prick your finger and write “Cat Fancy” on your mirror during a harvest moon, CC will appear behind you and make you put human clothes on your pets. CC is Head Crone in Charge at POMEgranate Magazine, as well as the co-host of Moon Podcast Power MAKE UP!!

Jenny Mott

Jenny is just a Silly Nerd with a lot of Feelings about Comic Books and Friendship and also This Capitalist Yoke We All Share; she enjoys Dogs and Sleeping and Cartoons. Her three favorite words are: Breakfast All Day.

Rachel Weiss

Rachel is a designer and artist from Texas. She is pro-feminism, pro-crones, and pro-dogs. She's also Boss Crone at POMEgranate Magazine, and one day hopes to be able to drink her tea without so much milk and sugar.