QUIZ: How would our dads describe a picture of Cloud Strife on his motorcycle?

Asking the hard-hitting questions, just in time for Father's Day

June 15, 2017 at 11:32 am

For some, a dad is the person who teaches you to ride a bike, negotiate a car loan, or appreciate the great prog rock bands of the late 1970s. For others, a dad is the person who gets you a mousepad featuring Cloud Strife on his motorcycle, because he knows that you, an adolescent with few friends, enjoy watching “those animes.”

In the spirit of Father’s Day, we showed our dads this picture of Cloud Strife and recorded their responses. Can you figure out how each each dad described him?

 

 

Please note: our dads’ responses are very lightly edited but make no mistake — these are their actual feelings, transcribed pretty much verbatim. All dads’ identities have been disguised to protect their identities (sort of). (Dads, you know who you are). 

 

#1: Which dad said it: "I think it would be a cool figure to paint if it were a figure."
Army Dad
Lesbian Dad
Sci Fi Dad
D&D Dad
Professor Dad
Sports Dad

Correct!

Wrong!

#2: Which dad said it: "This dude has a sick bike, [Name Redacted]."
Army Dad
Lesbian Dad
Sci Fi Dad
D&D Dad
Professor Dad
Sports Dad

Correct!

Wrong!

#3: Which dad said it: “Most anime ‘hero’ archetype figures don’t resonate with me. The sword drew my attention, as did the bike. I wondered for a moment if it was an anime interpretation of Michael Moorcock’s Elric of Melniborne character. Had runes but it was black.”
Army Dad
Lesbian Dad
Sci Fi Dad
D&D Dad
Professor Dad
Sports Dad

Correct!

Wrong!

#4: Which dad said it: "Okay, show me the picture. Okay...This dude has a sick bike!!!...with a huge motherfucking sword!!!”
Army Dad
Lesbian Dad
Sci Fi Dad
D&D Dad
Professor Dad
Sports Dad

Correct!

Wrong!

#5: Which dad said it: The blonde hair makes me think of a Cali surfer dude. But his wheels and whatever the heck that is in his left hand makes me think he has no problem getting gnarly on anyone's fanny who provokes him.”
Army Dad
Lesbian Dad
Sci Fi Dad
D&D Dad
Professor Dad
Sports Dad

Correct!

Wrong!

#6: Which dad said it: “Oh, that’s Cloud Strife.”
Army Dad
Lesbian Dad
Sci Fi Dad
D&D Dad
Professor Dad
Sports Dad

Correct!

Wrong!

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Shoutout to all the indulgent dads who have put up with dorky nonsense over the years; thanks 4 all that you do, dads.

 

Pomegranate Magazine

POMEmag is the internet’s premier pastel, macabre feminist dork publication. Or at least, a very pastel, macabre feminist dork publication that is leaning into that identity pretty hard.