Welcome to Romance Roundtable: a feature where all four editorial POME Crones gather together to discuss a Harlequin romance manga. Today we’re discussing Lord Calthorpe’s Promise by Rin Ogata (original novel by Sylvia Andrew). Get ready for old-timey sexist inheritance laws, men who have never heard of emotional labor, ABBA, and at least one single woman doing it for herself!
Ashley: I’m excited to talk about this one because
Ashely: Called out af
I think we can have a good time guessing these folks’ signs
Rachel: ok so! let’s start with a summary
Ashley: To me this was sort of sense and sensibility crossed with pride and prejudice
CC: my summary would be:
Jenny: back-talking shrew escapes abusive relatives, who are scheming for her money, by sort of fake dating her dead brother’s boss
Rachel: handsome man dies at waterloo, but not before making his commanding officer promise to take care of his pretty sister. Rich relatives swoop in and treat her like shit, but eventually handsome commanding officer comes in and saves the day
BUT it turns out that there’s some HISTORY with another laddyyyyy
Jenny: well, commanding officer’s mother saves the day
Rachel: oh good point
Ashley: TRUE
I love Mrs. Calthorpe
CC: bc like every trash boy in history, he’s still hung up on some girl he sorta dated before he even DATED U like come on lord calthorpe
Ashley: Yeah, and he has a crush on Katherine’s evil relative, also Katherine, who looks like the ex.
Rachel: too many Katherine’s, I feel like they could have at least varied up the spelling to help us out here
2/5 british ladies from waterloo days are named Katherine
CC: and the ex is also maybe evil???
Ashley: She’s certainly a gold digger
Married a rich dude 20 years older than her
CC: get ???? that ???? paper ???? julia ????
let me be honest with y’all from the start: lord calthorpe is at the bottom of my list of harlequin manga hunks
the minute he started trying to order me to drink hot milk i’d be donzo
Ashley: LOLLL
CC: he was weirdly really into hot milk
he brings it up like three times!!!
Ashley: He sure calls Katherine a shrew a lot for wanting to do normal things like live with her bestie in lesbian bliss
Jenny: HONESTLY
CC: he’s mad at her because she’s not super polite literally one minute after she literally fights off her creeper cousin???
Ashley: Lol yeah she totally slapped him
He’s very victim blaming when she gets sexually assaulted TWICE
CC: like, she’s mad but at least could she be, like, nicer about it lolololol
????
Ashley: YEP YEP YEP I WAS WAITING FOR THAT TO SHOW UP
Relatable content
Rachel: really the gold start panel of this whole book
Jenny: gotta be my new phone background
Ashley: Katherine might, in contrast to Lord Calthorpe, be the most relatable harlequin manga heroine yet
It only takes her like a day to decide she’s not taking shit from her evil relatives or ANYBODY
CC: even the dippy love interest
SHOTS FIRED
Ashley: LOL SICKEST BURN
And then she’s like, slapping dudes and telling them off and shacking up with her lesbian homeowner bestie
Jenny: YOOOO
that best friend
Ashley: She rules
Jenny: OWNS A HOME AS A SINGLE WOMAN
INSPIRING
CC: yeah like on a governess salary???
bless her
charlotte bronte had a hard enough time doing that and she was a best selling author
Ashley: Lol for real
One thing I liked about this book for real was women helping each other
Jenny: YES
Ashley: Like, the relationship between Katherine and her friend is genuinely super supportive
Mrs. Calthorpe is basically a shockingly competent DV advocate
Jenny: i’d also like to point out that the friend and mrs. calthorpe are both the ones advocating hardest for this ship
Ashley: Haha, true
CC: i liked that even though her son is the ~ hero of waterloo ~, she doesn’t take him seriously at all
Ashley: HAHAHA YESSS
CC: she’s always calling him out for not knowing what the hell he’s talking about
Ashley: She’s like, stop ordering people around you dimwit
CC: she does all the emotional labor in this book
Ashley: Omg cc that scene with the first screen cap was SO GOOD
she spent like two whole pages telling him off for being a fuckboy
Rachel: such a classic
I mean, also, 4 months????
it took him 4 months to check up on this girl???
you promised a dead man, and you let 4 months go by
so disappointed in you, Lord Calthorpe
CC: what else is he even doing???
Ashley: Okay that was a little confusing
Because the shitty rapey cousin clearly intercepted one letter
Sounds like it was the second one but, the pacing made it very unclear
Jenny: yeah that tripped me up too
i think the first letter was just one she sent thanking him for being good to her brother
Ashley: Ah!! I see
Jenny: and that was BEFORE she met her shitty relatives?
Ashley: That makes sense
I think you’re right
The second one was asking for help and he didn’t get that one, okay
Jenny: right
but she also didn’t get any of his
it was v The Notebook
CC: I’m also guessing the cousins threw those out???
Ashley: Yeah, definitely
Omg that reminds me
This had to be the most obscene butchering of lettering we’ve seen yet
Ashley: Like, Harlequin, what is your workflow???
Hiring an intern to use MS PAINT or??
Jenny: from the FIRST PANEL
it was so bad
Rachel: OMG YES
AHHHHH
Rachel: but also just, the placement
I do not know which direction to read these things in
Ashley: Yep, omg factual
CC: so much text and it’s all so hard to follow
Rachel: it was also an interesting aesthetic choice to use a sans serif font for Thoughts and a serif for Spoken Words
Ashley: LOLLLLLL
Whyyyyyy
Rachel: this drove me absolutely bonkers
Ashley: Same
CC: what we are saying is, hire us, harlequin
Rachel: seriously!!! we know how to use photoshop!!
Ashley: LOL YES
CC: we can promise u a 200% improvement in lettering quality
Ashley: this is also factual
CC: so, this is a divergence but
as a big fan of the book Vanity Fair, I was really excited about some Waterloo drama
& I feel like aside from one tragic Waterloo death at the beginning, I did not get what I was hoping for
just regular victorian novel inheritance law drama
but at least i got to feel like I sort of used my degree for something
and that was cool
(unlike JENNY who gets to use HER DEGREE FOR POME ALL THE TIME SHAMELESS PLUG)
Ashley: Yeah!! I bet some war stuff comes up in part 2 tho
Jenny: yeah, it’s worth mentioning, if we haven’t already — this is a two-parter
Ashley: Like just imagine Calthorpe galloping off for war the night after they kiss or something
Jenny: !!!
CC: calthorpe’s gotta deliver a good rant about getting crushed by mammon’s wheel in part 2 to make it all up to me
Jenny: lol
Ashley: I don’t even know what that is but he needs a good crushing
I feel like, they were definitely going for Darcy vibes but he’s too mouthy to be a Darcy
Like, you’re more attractive when you STFU guy
Rachel: “too mouthy to be a Darcy”
I love that
Jenny: i will say in his defense:
Ashley: HAHA
Big chest is good
Rachel: and warm so we know he’s not a vampire
Jenny: love me some big chest energy
(did i use that meme right?)
Rachel: LOL JENNY
i have no idea
i am over 30 now and don’t know how memes work
Ashley: Bahaha big chest energy, I’ll never get over it
Jenny: just warm and soft and big
just wants to hug
that’s the peak Big Chest Energy
CC: as much as i wanna believe this dude has big chest energy, he is also like
the lord of negs
Ashley: REAL
Jenny: that’s true — his personality is kind of shitty
not as shitty as the literal rapist cousin, but def not great
CC: YOU JUST MET HER, IDIOT
this book is full of big smirk energy tho ngl
Ashley: OH ALSO
I was wishing he was in love with the dead brother, Tom!!!
Jenny: I KNOW ME TOO
Ashley: Especially when he was like, low key hoping she’d look like him
CC: that’s probably what sparked this whole thing off!
Ashley: DREAM PRINCE!!
CC: that good old romance manga trope, “i am in love with my best friend but this girl who looks like him is okay too”
Jenny: i have officially headcannoned that this is just a CLAMP-verse everyone-is-bi situation
like, the protag and her friend are in love
the love-interest and the dead brother are in love
but they have to move on because of death or class/capitalism
for the endgame back-talking shrew/king of the negs OTP
Ashley: I approve !!!!!
CC: 1812 high english society wasn’t ready for their love
also, you know, his untimely death at waterloo
Ashley: That’s so sad Alexa play The Soldiering Life by the Decemberists
CC: L O L
But…this book had a lot of
grand proclamations about women
more than usual, even
Ashley: omg I wanted to stab him lmao
CC: but in a WOMAN????
Ashley: Okay that panel was low key my fave tho
Because he recognizes he’s being a dick and steers it back around
Jenny: i mean — he came to an alright conclusion here, but also
yikes
i’ll grant that it was a point in his favor, ultimately
but also i don’t want to know this guy
Ashley: Lol fair
Jenny: i will say, going back the unreasonable woman panel
like, she was reacting to a whole lot of change v quickly
Jenny: like, these assholes just showed up and started making fun of her and her shit
then said they owned it all
and the whole time she was just like – can we chill for a minute so i can process?
but no one likes an unreasonable woman, so…
Ashley: Yeah 🙁
CC: unreasonable = all feelings
Ashley: Poor Katherine, honestly ahead of her shitty time
Jenny: she’s an inspiration
Ashley: Lol goals
CC: I LOVED (and by loved I mean also HATED) how her shitty extended family turned on a dime when they realized she controlled all the money
Ashley: Ugggggggh they became even MORE manipulative!!
CC: she’s a better woman than I, bc I would have slid straight into Unreasonable Shrew territory and lorded it over them as much as possible
Ashley: Lolllll
CC: which is why i could never be the protag of a regency inheritance plot story :disappointed:
Ashley: Or perhaps why you SHOULD
Kate & Leopold, but Kate actually just back talks everyone even at the end
Jenny: i would love to see that
mouthy meg ryan
CC: now go churn me some creamery fresh butter or ur ass is out of the will
Ashley: YES
Rachel: man i hope so much that that’s what happens in part 2
Ashley: yeaaaaaaaa
I will say I am looking forward to part 2
The pacing was improved by having more room to work in
Jenny: yeah — i think we should talk about what exactly has happened to lead up to pt2
Ashley: the last part they show up to a Christmas party to sort of test the waters for Katherine’s upcoming spring debut
Hosted by Calthorpe’s ex
Which means they have to literally FAKE DATE!!!! THE BEST ROMANCE TROPE!
Jenny: YES
THE BEST
I LOVE IT SO MUCH
CC: bless mrs. calthorpe so much for pushing this event into a real fake date
she knows how awkward her dumb son is
Ashley: LOL YESSSS
CC: maybe mrs. calthorpe just gets bored at these parties LOL
Ashley: she did not want to go at first, lbr
Rachel: or bored over her upper crust life probably
that’s why she’s so keen to take in Katherine
Jenny: i mean there was no TV back then
Ashley: LOL TRUE
Jenny: no harlequin manga either
what’s an old lady to do
Rachel: this is the closest to The Bachelorette that she’s gonna get
Jenny: lol yes
Ashley: hahahaha
That’s all the non-crone ladies had back then
CC: a similar thing happens in emma (by kaoru mori, not the jane austen novel); so, it must be historically accurate
Jenny: must be
CC: there is something important we haven’t discussed yet tho
so
this girl isn’t blond but
via the cover, she does have lovely auburn hair
was that a ?? thing??? to have a complex about back in 1812 england????
Ashley: … no clue tbh
Rachel: (shrug)
CC: everybody keeps bringing up the fact that she could really MAKE something of herself if she had been blonde
Ashley: HAHAHA
CC: even her dead grandpa!
Ashley: I mean… I don’t think much has changed in that respect lol
Jenny: yeah — brown hair, “amber” eyes — too plain; not like this blonde hair blue, blue eyes business
CC: i guess i feel like light auburn to blond is like, splitting hairs
: )
if u will
: )
Jenny: lol
ugh
Ashley: Well Auburn is sort of reddish which I think might be seen as kind of poor-looking
And the *whispers* Irish…
HAHAHA CC
Rachel: the hair of the proletariat
CC: LOL
brown hair energy
Ashley: Hahaha
My last thought is…………
Uh,
I’m glad I don’t live in Napoleonic england
Sorry that’s weak but that’s it
Jenny: i mean, i’m right there w you bud
CC: i think that is a legit take tho
Jenny: it seems shitty
like a shitty place
CC: also i got one i think you will all appreciate
my final thought is
-the real inspiration for this book????
Jenny: bless
Ashley: Lolll
Jenny: the untold story of lord calthorpe and the dead brother
CC: omg sob
Jenny: (Tom/Fernando?)
or FernADAM
bc adam calthorpe
CC: WHOA
Jenny: my final thought is more of a kind of gross and hopefully unintentional observation
I don’t like or trust the brother
i get that he’s dead and probably this won’t come up
but our first introduction to him is p gross, i think
Rachel: YEAH
WOAH
THE POSING HERE WAS BAD
Jenny: what is this artist doing??
VERY BAD POSING
VERY BAD WRITING SURROUNDING THAT POSING
CC: y i k e s
also i bet his ass isn’t even dead
he probably has amnesia in france RIGHT TF NOW
Jenny: YES
what a TWIST
CC: creepy ass bro is gonna come back and sweep up the whole inheritance
and spend it on baguettes
and rowboats to spring napoleon out of elba
Jenny: lol i would too though (baguettes, not napoleon)
Rachel & CC: lol
CC: yet another case we have totally nailed
Jenny: hire us, harlequin!
CC: we’d write the best juicy romance comics AND we’d even letter them properly
all the amnesia would be semi probable
Rachel: here for this
Also! i’m out of things to say
i mostly wanted to yell about fonts
CC: every time I saw an out of center piece of text, i imagined it stabbing u through the heart, rachel
????
Rachel: lol yes
ok my actual final thought is more of a prediction
CC & Jenny: oooh
Rachel: here is what I predict for part 2
Jenny: YES
lay it on me
Rachel: ok Calthorpe’s ex is gonna try to get on that D, and Calthorpe is gonna get weak but not give in
but Katherine’s def gonna stumble in on them in a compromising position
Jenny: oooh
Rachel: she runs out, because she DOESN’T love him (she swears) but also she doesn’t know why she CARES so much
CC: rachel you are so good at this
OMG
[kisses fingers like a chef]
Jenny: harlequin: HIRE RACHEL
CC: +1
Rachel: THEN there’s going to be an epic resolution, potentially involving Calthorpe going to battle against the French
he gets wounded
Katherine comes to his aid
Jenny: yes yes yes yes yes
Rachel: they reconcile and make out hardcore
that’s the end
Jenny: BLESS
Rachel: if there was a part 3, then i predict that he actually gets amnesia because of the battle
Jenny: YES
Rachel: and resolving that is the plot of the final part of the trilogy
Jenny: fuck harlequin — the hallmark channel needs you
CC: I have a small addition to your prediction: we gotta see a wedding dress
Rachel: oh hell yeah!
CC: and i predict it’ll be, typically, an empire waist dress pretty close to the one kate wore to the party but with a veil and tiara
Rachel: and he’ll look into her eyes and say
“i love you even if you have poor-colored hair”
Jenny: LOLOLOL
Rachel: and she’ll say “great ok thanks”
“you may kiss the bride”
CC: “here is some hot milk”
Jenny: hot milk~~
like semen
Rachel & CC: LOL
Rachel: that’s when we get the steamy epilogue you can only download as a 12 page ebook
CC: damn
Join us for our next Romance Roundtable, where we’ll recap Lord Calthorpe’s Promise VOLUME 2!! That’s right: two whole Romance Roundtables about the sexy, sexy undertones of 19th century inheritance laws and spirited women who just say whatever’s on their minds, like “please stop trying to steal my mansion” or “do not throw me down a well, please.” Get hype!
All images within this article are sourced from Lord Calthorpe’s Promise by Rin Ogata (original novel by Sylvia Andrew) unless otherwise noted.
