Romance Roundtable #29: Bridgerton (Episodes 1-2)

Welcome to Romance Roundtable: a feature where the editorial POME Crones gather together to discuss Romance Comics (mostly). Giddy on the high of being given everything we ever wanted from a romance comic, we decided to venture further into Actually Good Content to celebrate our collective survival of 2020. Enter Bridgerton, aka Regency Gossip Girl, the hottest new thing on Netflix, and our first ever television edition of Romance Roundtable! Join us as we yell about our favorite tropes, throw “historical accuracy” to the wind, and marvel at how far peer sex education has come (heheh). And since this is our first time covering a very fresh new release, be warned: spoilers for the first two episodes of Bridgerton lie ahead!


Jenny: so i mean, may i just start by saying

The Queen: "Flawless, my dear."

Jenny: this was a satisfying watch
felt like a deeply niche boon, for me, personally — so was pleased to see so many people into it

Rachel: Yes!! I also loved being able to bond over a shared interest with my mom and moms everywhere

Jenny: LOVE MOMS

CC: connected to all moms thru this show

Jenny: also real quick:
talk about milf list

Violet: "Well, I realize it may be unfashionable, but we like each other. [chuckles]"

Jenny: a great mom! such a step up from riverdale

CC: for once, an answer to the age-old question, “where are all the parents”

Rachel: Yes!!! Good parents for once!!
And Violet was truly great

CC: also
alphabetically naming your numerous children
love it

Jenny: honestly it IS orderly and she should say it

Rachel: WOW I didn’t even realize!!!

CC: definitely helpful to me as a viewer, although I could not tell one bridgerton older brother from the others if u held me at gunpoint

Jenny: made it so much easier to keep track of all of these children

CC: I think somebody makes fun of her for it early on in episode 1 and jenny you are right, she SHOULD say it
oh I guess before we get too much farther
summary time?

Ashley: oh my gosh, so much happens, actually!

CC: I’d summarize by saying we start off Bridgerton like any good regency-era period drama by introducing a bunch of fancy youths who are making their entrance into society
quickly followed by a fake dating plot
but that is admittedly a very broad brush to paint by!

Ashley: yeah! in the first ep the stage is set by introducing us to the Bridgertons – who are Good, Likable rich people – and the Featheringtons, who are Tacky, Mean rich people. both families have daughters that they are trying to get married off, although the B’s sensibly prioritize the eldest daughter, while the F’s are trying to get all 3 of their girls married off at once, i guess?
hijinks and elegant witticisms ensue

CC: so
to use my degree for a minute
to dust it off and check that it isn’t too motheaten anyway
have any of y’all read Vanity Fair by William Makepeace Thackeray?

Ashley: ha, yes!

Rachel: i have seen the movie which i am sure adequately captured the literary experience

CC: my main thoughts throughout these episodes and also the whole series was just
this is the level of mean regency hot takes I am here for, without thackeray’s racism and uh, all his other issues, so many other issues
the best things about vanity fair imo are 1) it has illustrations interspersed into it and 2) it is SO MEAN, gleefully mean
joanne the scammer, lives for drama mean
which was my favorite part of it
and whenever characters from bridgerton visit a location from vanity fair I would yell out “OH, IT’S THAT PLACE, FROM THAT BOOK!” to myself so thanks for the edifying knowledge, My Otherwise Pretty Underused English Degree lmao
vauxhall included, which is also the scene of some next level marriage plot intrigue in both titles
anyway that’s all I got, time to put my degree back in a box and forget about it for another 10 years lol

Ashley: hahaha
well speaking of degrees
i may have a bachelor’s in english and an almost meaningless “certificate” in comics studies, but i am a Doctor of Tropes, and would like to ask:
when will we stop using corsets as shorthand for “THIS IS WHEN IT SUCKED FOR (rich white) WOMEN, not before and not after, when everything was fine”
also, i have absolutely NO QUALMS with any of the rest of this show, which is perfectly delightful

Jenny: oh yeah the lack of shifts was obnoxious
as if the camera were visually delighting in the welts
gross
but also like, what other boob support was there my dudes

Ashley: this is actually a really important question to me

Jenny: will grant though that it is oppressive for anyone to try to force their daughter’s waist down to the size of an orange and a half

CC: also weren’t corsets of the regency era a lot looser than those of the victorian era?
what with the booming popularity of empire waist garments etc?

Ashley: oh yes absolutely
imperial waists were very in

Rachel: yeah otherwise what was the point of the empire waist????
those are not flattering!! i hate them!!!
the only benefit is a loose corset!

CC: truly

Jenny: honestly i think the underboob waist is what managed to hide marina’s secret pregnancy
bc let’s remember: there’s a SECRET PREGNANCY!!
this show truly has it all

Ashley: wait, the pregnancy is already revealed in the first two eps? SO MUCH HAPPENS

Rachel: oh yeah should we list the tropes?
enemies to lovers
fake dating

Jenny: big fake dating

CC: love this for you jenny

Jenny: thank you thank you it’s all i’ve ever wanted

Rachel: at the end of the ep, it says “this was all for you, jenny”

CC: i loved that part
direct eye contact with the screen
thank u jenny, specifically, for your patronage; this is all for you

Jenny: LOL
it really felt that way!!
there’s also hidden identity, right — lady whistledown

Rachel: YES lady whistledown
i don’t know who you are, but i love you
you gossipy bitch

Ashley: voiced by julie andrews, BTW, which DELIGHTFUL

CC: GREAT use of julie here

Ashley: i believe an angel gets its wings every time julie andrews cusses

Jenny: LOL

CC: is a dude getting laid out smack dab in the jaw by a smol lady a trope
if so sign me up

Daphne punching a loser.

Rachel: LOL

Ashley: YESSSS

Jenny: a lovely moment in the garden

Rachel: this Mr Collins mf

Jenny: i hate him so much

Nigel: "I wore my satin knee breeches for the occasion!"

Ashley: he is made to be loathed and i love to loathe him
tbf the satin knee breeches remark would be completely relatable if not uttered by him
i hate getting dressed up only to be Thwarted

Jenny: LOL
what’s more relatable tbh???

CC: love 2 see ur enemies dress up to be thwarted tho

Ashley: TRUE

Jenny: but yeah no this dude sucks so much

Nigel: "I NEED her. Why can you not just let me have this one?"

Jenny: just the embodiment of male entitlement
by the end of the second episode, he’s already trapped our girl daphne, eldest bridgerton, into marriage
and now they have to find some way out of it!!
gotta say i love their plan so far
(have their maids gossip w his mom’s maids)

Nigel's mom's servant: "Oh, you have no idea."

CC: oh yeah, WEAPONIZED GOSSIP
legit one of my favorite tropes of all time

Jenny: that’s it!
that’s the show!

Ashley: YES!
really that IS the whole show
and also, kudos to the Good Rich People (the Bridgertons) for having a good enough relationship with their employees to make this happen
does this show have communism? no. but does it have servants giving lip to their bosses with absolutely no ill consequences? YES and i’ll TAKE IT
i think we can safely call this a subversion of the upstairs/downstairs trope specific to historical romance

Jenny: yeah i gotta say that the bridgertons (and maybe esp daphne) do display more or less ideal rich people behavior throughout the show, which like — if this is the world we have to live in, then at least we have this
oh yeah yeah good call on upstairs/downstairs
should we maybe talk about this love interest?

Rachel: PLEASE

Jenny: he is possibly the platonic ideal of man

Ashley: REFORMED RAKE! REFORMED RAAAAAAAKE!!!!!!!!

Rachel: ANOTHER TROPE

Ashley: i live for this because i am TRASH and PROUD

Simon: "You would be the least objectionable option."

CC: is he really a rake tho
not to be pedantic but
he just seems to be a regular dude who Made A Solemn Vow Never To Marry

Jenny: yeah we see him exit one brothel and that really seems to be it

Ashley: also, he has a flask, and he ALMOST unwittingly bangs his best friend’s commoner girlfriend
only realizing that he is possibly catching feelings for a Real Lady just in time to avoid this fate

CC: big tittie opera gf

Jenny: love big tittie opera gf tbh
she deserves better

Ashley: she deserves the world, fully agree

Anthony to Siena: "I will always protect you."
Siena to Anthony: "You said you would always protect me."

Ashley: oh yes, perfect time to call this trope: protective older brother / feckless eldest son

Jenny: she’s so great and he sucks so much
i fucking hate this guy (oldest bridgerton, starts with an A)
Anthony!

Rachel: so, apparently, Bridgerton book 2 is about Antony
i am really curious if they are going to do a season for each book, and thus each Bridgerton??

CC: i have my own internal list of regency tropes & “opera = promiscuity” is right up there with “vauxhall = marriage plot gone awry”
LOL

Ashley: i feel like 8 seasons would be a lot, even for shonda rhimes? but honestly what do i know

Jenny: ooh tbh i did watch ahead and def got those vibes from the finale (that season 2 would be about anthony)

CC: oh boy lol

Rachel: book 2 is called “The Viscount Who Loved Me” so

CC: LOL REALLY

Rachel: YES

Jenny: maybe it’s actually about big tittie opera gf!!!

Ashley: booooooooo i pretend i do not see it
oh well that would be better

Rachel: yeah i am playing this delicate game with my self and also with my mom and my partners mom
where i make speculations and they try not to tell me things
and in talking about book 2, i have gotten only SIGNIFICANT GLANCES and knowing nods

Jenny: love that game

Ashley: no one tell my mom about this show, please

CC: WOW

Ashley: i told her about jane the virgin like halfway through the final season and she caught up on ALL of it in like 3 weeks!

Rachel: wow!!! that’s amazing

Ashley: she literally watched it on her commute hahaha

Jenny: gotta say though that if season 2 is about anthony, he’ll need to do better than this shit
he just sucks so much

Anthony to Daphne: "It should be just as easy to fall in love with Lord Berbrooke."
Anthony to Daphne: "One day, you will understand. One day, you will be most appreciative."

Ashley: EW EW EW EW EW EW god i hate him!!!!!!!!

CC: “i couldn’t find anything wrong with him, except his terrible personality, HE DOESN’T EVEN BEAT HIS HORSE”

Ashley: SO older brother of him to be like, “i looked into this guy and he’s a totally normal not-rapist” and then NOT HAVE LOOKED INTO IT AT ALL

Jenny: i really hope season 2 is about him slowly and painfully wasting away from whatever the nicole kidman disease was in moulin rouge

CC: paraphrasing here to be fair
LOL JENNY

Ashley: HAHAHAHA

CC: look I’m worried about season 2 a little bc every time the plot starts to follow a bridgerton son, I’m just like

Doctor Manhattan: "I am tired of Earth. These people. I am tired of being caught in the tangle of their lives."

Jenny: LOLOLOLOLOL

Rachel: lollll

Ashley: oh yes, which is your least favorite brother, Dumb Jerk, Low-Rent Paul Rudd, or Fuzzy Fauxhawk?

Jenny: i mean, but what about…

Colin: "I am to escort Miss Featherington to the floor."

Rachel: YES OK
see i only care about Colin because i care about Penelope!!!
who i love!!!

Jenny: I LOVE PENELOPE!! but to be fair, i also have a massive crush on nicola coughlan

Rachel: also she’s in Derry Girls which is great and I highly recommend

CC: i want season 2 to be all about penelope gettin it
by “it” I mean “whatever she wants”

Ashley: I LOVE Penelope but I gotta say that I’m REALLY hoping for Penelope and Eloise running off and doing a gay together

Rachel: YEAH

Jenny: THE DREAM

Rachel: sigh i’m sure it won’t be, but i wish

Penelope waving to Eloise.

Jenny: from the very first moment
this tender “waving to your lover from across the square”

Ashley: LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT
i feel seen

CC: YEAH to be honest I was STRUCK by the hetero pivot
I thought they were cannon explicitly In Love from this intro!!! rude!!!!!

Ashley: i really didn’t expect it because i do not live in reality, i guess
(the pivot that is, i fully expected lesbians)

Jenny: but honestly they are so undeniably cute together!!

Penelope: "Mama, might I go play with Eloise?"
Mrs. Featherington: "A lady does not play, Penelope."
Penelope: "Forgive me, Mama. Might I go promenade for suitors with Eloise?"

Ashley: this show has already MADE HISTORY with REGENCY BARE-ASS and it can do it again with REGENCY LESBIANS!!

Rachel: i mean also it makes me think of that article someone shared a while back about how friendships were more important / almost romantic in olden times
ye olden years

Jenny: lol olden times
you mean highschool??

CC: LOL

Rachel: LOL JENNY
i’m dead now
how could u

CC: i just looked up nicola coughlan in her other roles and ur right jenny she is a certified babe!!!!

Jenny: she’s so cute!!!

Nicola Coughlan with Jonathan Van Ness!

Jenny: def check out the promo stuff netflix did for bridgerton bc she’s adorable

Ashley: omggggg
too cute

Jenny: also! a normal age!
like 30-something
drop that skincare routine nicola!!

CC: yeah she’s 33!!! but playing a 14 year old or w/e
such collagen

Ashley: uhhhhhhhh WOW damn!

Jenny: yeah i think she and the actress who plays eloise (second oldest bridgerton daughter) are both in their 30s, playing younger siblings, but the one who plays daphne (oldest bridgerton daugher) is younger than i am
if you can believe it

CC: I looked that up too and I COULD NOT BELIEVE IT
I was like who is this 15 year old keira knightly

Ashley: what are you talking about, no one is younger than you

CC: LOL ASHOLEY

Ashley: also CC thank YOU i totally also thought she looked like keira knightley!

Jenny: but the age of the actors aside, penelope and elosie are just so good together!!

Penelope pulling Eloise closer.
Eloise to Penelope: "How did she become with child if she is not married?"

Ashley: OH YES
WE CAN TALK ABOUT MY FAVORITE THING
which is that HILARIOUSLY, much of the plot is devoted to no one knowing about sex!!!!

Jenny: they are on a mission!
to figure out how people get pregnant so that they can make sure it never happens to them!
boy have i got some good news about lesbianism, ladies

Ashley: HA

Jenny: so much of this show’s conflict could’ve been resolved if only they had a — what was it you were CC?
sexual health ambassador?

CC: sexual health peer educator

Jenny: there’s just so much misinformation circulating that they need to be peer educated about!

Mrs. Featherington: "Because her condition is catching."

Jenny: just like truly! what the fuck!

CC: I taught 8 “managing contraception” classes in 2010 and hoo boy I wish I could have brought my giant white board and plastic uterus model to both of these regency houses

Jenny: would’ve made a meaningful difference, i believe

CC: oh I just thought mom featherton was being mean and judgy LOL
featherington?

Jenny: i mean, it can be both

Ashley: please remind me to bring this up again when we talk about the end of episode 5 because i HAVE QUESTIONS
about CERTAIN THINGS THAT HAPPEN

Jenny: gotta say though, i did genuinely enjoy this scene:

Eloise: "How does a lady come to be with child?"
Colin: "Have you ever visited a farm, El?"
Eloise growls.

CC: how is babby formed
the show

Ashley: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAAAA

Jenny: got a laugh out of me

CC: pregante

Rachel: pregananat

Ashley: “Dear younger sister, have you ever seen horse dong”

Rachel: honestly this show does make me feel both grateful for being only one of 2 siblings and also jealous of big, close knit families

Jenny: oh yeah for sure

Violet: "Well, I realize it may be unfashionable, but we like each other." She chuckles.

Jenny: i mean
this really does seem nice!!
milf and all

Ashley: the real fantasy of the show tbh

CC: to have that many younger sisters
my god
no offense younger sisters of the world

Jenny: i mean but with the caveat that you can apparently just ship some of them off to Bath to study pianoforte for the rest of the season
(that’s what happened to fran, the daughter between eloise and gregory)

Ashley: i was wondering!
there’s also Hyacinth, who seems delightful

Jenny: truly
maybe that’s the long-game for this show — an eventual hyacinth season

CC: good for the bridgerton parents
seems like they could and did get it

Ashley: yesssss

Jenny: oh man did they ever
there’s a part at the end of ep 2
when we’re hit with THIS absolute vibe

Eloise: "I dare say I would be a fool at this point not to be terrified."

Jenny: when they’re talking about how their dad died JUST A FEW MONTHS before Hyacinth was born
so those parents really were getting it right up to the finish line

Ashley: wait what? has it really been that long?????????
for some reason i thought that the dad had died like right before the show started, i think because Lady Danbury and Mom Bridgerton were busting his chops for not being a responsible head of family or whatever

Jenny: oh yeah that was def confusing

Ashley: but also, Simon’s dad DID die right before the show starts, so maybe i mixed it up in my head

Jenny: maybe it was like — anthony did a fine job with all the boring accountant work up until this moment when he had to start making decisions for other people (daphne)

Ashley: ahhhhhh hmm okay

Jenny: or like, maybe he was supposed to have been married already and now daphne’s being put on the market is like a signal that he needs to hurry it up?
i’m not sure what the rules are

Rachel: i mean based on all the regency romance i’ve read, if he had died recently then the family would still be in mourning
based on Regency Romance Law

Ashley: that’s a good point

Jenny: i did really enjoy when the mom would berate him for his irresponsibility though

Voilet: "Or will you pay a visit to a certain soprano that you tend to."

Ashley: both good points actually, there is a conversation about how Anthony needs to man up and wife up, causing him to dump the big tiddy opera gf

Rachel: i liked this part because even though i love opera gf, Anthony had been very disrespectful to his mother previous to this
so her coming in with the law was [chef’s kiss]

Ashley: ^ ^ ^ factual

Jenny: oh for sure! anthony sucks and i want to see everyone do it to him like this. but also this conversation leads into his dumping big tittie opera gf, but also ends up w him rushing daphne into this berbrooke engagement
and like

Anthony: "And I know... I know you think you are solving the problem."

CC: opera gf is too good for him

Jenny: he says this to milf, but it’s funny bc it’s actually what he is doing himself
that’s JUST good writing

Ashley: ALSO FACTUAL

Rachel: you love to see it

CC: oof I just realized that we have not really talked much about the biggest part of these two episodes
our fake dating couple!!!!!
baby keira knightly and count beefcake

Ashley: there’s so much to say i hardly know where to begin!!!!
but here’s one possible start: why does the Duke of Hastings show up to the party to begin with????????

Jenny: that’s in his intro scene w lady danbury

CC: messy duke who lives for drama

Rachel: Lady Danbury is a force to be reckoned with

Jenny: he says he doesn’t want to go to the party and she says tough titties
and he agrees to make an appearance

Ashley: has she already cooked up the Simon-Daphne match by then, you think???

Jenny: lol i hope so
but i gotta say that w simon: i very much enjoyed the introduction to his inner life/hot best friend

Will: "You missed me."
Simon grunts, gasps.

Ashley: hahahahaha

CC: shirtless bareknuckle boxing is the crux of male friendship

"You construct intricate rituals which allow you to touch the skin of other men."

Jenny: just this barbara kruger piece??

Ashley: omfg

Rachel: LOL

Ashley: absolutely truthful own re: men
that scene was a little too much for me, like, you want me to believe these Old Englishes are sweaty and shirtless and NOT inflamed with desire for one another?
unfair
cruel

Rachel: an excellent point

Ashley: whenst will we fujoshi get our regency fanservice

CC: i do love the matchmaking moms tho, I feel like they are all of us in these moments

Lady Danbury: "Matches have certainly been made with far less."
Lady Danbury: "Perhaps we need to help her to see things a bit more clearly."

CC: also

Jenny: THEY SCHEME!!

Lady Danbury: "Life as a duchess will have many demands."

CC: consistently throughout both episodes
also love that they have their power colors that just work for them
lady danbury especially

Ashley: YES POWER COLORS
epic

CC: that pomegranate red
chef’s kiss

Lady Danbury: "Most undignified."

Jenny: looks great, even (maybe especially) while roasting you

Rachel: one of 2020’s top crones for a reason

Jenny: truly!!

Lady Danbury: "When I was a girl, some centuries ago...."
Lady Danbury: "So, instead, I made myself frightening."

Jenny: GOALS!!

Ashley: THIS scene is what really truly made me fall in love with this show

Jenny: it’s a very good scene
but tbh for me it was

[rendition of "Thank U, Next" by Vitamin String Quartest playing]

Ashley: OMG OMG OMG OMG
i literally cried when i figured out what song that was ahhaahaha

CC: as the least terrifying thing in any room I’m in, I appreciate this scene so much #goals
also do the other musical scenes describe what they’re a cover of?
lol
I genuinely think they’re all covers but I don’t think they’re all labeled this way ha ha

Ashley: i think the closed captioning does say what they are

Jenny: most of the time — yeah

Ashley: but there is at least one song that’s like, legit classical music

Jenny: yeah, and i think they use the theme song too
but i think you’re right CC that they are mostly covers
but the only other one i caught was the taylor swift one in ep 6

Rachel: LOL i’m stoked to get there

Ashley: i have the memory of a goldfish apparently because i cannot provide another example but i did feel like a clever girl when i recognized the melodies

Jenny: lol i mostly failed to recognize the songs
JUSTLY DAPHNE FAILED TO RECOGNIZE THE DUKE

Simon to Daphne: "Am I honestly to believe you do not already know my name?"

Jenny: a classic enemies to lovers set up

Rachel: what a meet cute
mean-cutes are the best enemies-to-lovers meet-cutes

CC: rachel….ur brain
(i have never heard “mean cutes” before so if you didn’t coin this term I’m just gonna believe you did until the end of time lol)

Ashley: it’s canon, rachel invented it

Jenny: LOL mean cutes!
personally my fave is when we get to this point

Simon: "We could pretend to form an attachment."
Simon: "If this is to work, we must appear madly in love."

Rachel: the EYEBROW

Daphne: "No one can know about our little arrangement."
Daphne: "My cuff, button it."
Simon: "I beg your pardon?"

CC: the cuff buttoning was nice
smooth work

Jenny: a genius moment of fake dating performance

Ashley: “she doesn’t know he’s a duke” is the Olden Times “she doesn’t know she’s beautiful”

Jenny: REGENCY ONE DIRECTION
it’s the crossover event i need
(is this too young for y’all??)

Rachel: JENNY

Ashley: BOOOOO

Rachel: (yes)
lol
my first intro to one direction was the article jenny wrote when she first met us

Ashley: jenny, until we were talking about one direction a couple weeks ago, i had no idea that song was by them
despite the fact that i heard it every night of my life when i worked at a fancy pizza joint in 2010
i think i thought One Direction was the name of a K drama

CC: my only memory of one direction before jenny pitched us this piece was thinkpieces about how this song was problematic bc the ouroboros of internet outrage is eternal LOL

Jenny: lol i would watch the 1D kdrama
they’ve been broken up for 5 years, but somehow i am still trash for it
i think i’ve moved on and then someone says
“she doesn’t know she’s beautiful” and i regress

Ashley: we’ve all been there
i, an Olde, feel that way about (spins giant wheel)…. Bach’s cantatas

Jenny: but tbh you know what i am also trash for?? it’s fake dating

Lady Whistldown, while Daphne and Simon are dancing: "Yet, if anyone shall reveal the circumstances of this match..."

CC: every time these two are on screen together
i’m just muttering to myself
good for you, you baby idiots
good for you
NOW KISS

Ashley: absolute same

Jenny: i know!! they like each other!! it’s undeniable!!

Rachel: me, @ them

That picture of Bong Joon-ho making his oscards kiss.

Jenny: LOLOLOLOLOL

Ashley: LEGENDARY

Jenny: before we wrap up, do we want to mention the thing that’s really stopping them from kissing?

CC: oh yeah

Simon, to his dying father: "The Hastings line will die with me."

CC: deathbed vow
!!!
deathbed vow!!!! DEATHBED VOWWWWW

Jenny: the duke’s deathbed vow to never sire an heir!!

Ashley: omg i honestly can’t wait to talk more about this

Rachel: ok i really do love this level of petty

Jenny: i respect it so much

CC: vicariously living thru this scene
what with the bean dad discourse hitting its peak
i wish this for bean dad’s child
a solid deathbed vow scene

Rachel: CC please tweet this
for me
i want you to be famous for this
the [BEAN] line will die with me

Ashley: i honestly have no idea what we’re shitposting about right now and i am at peace with this

CC: LMAO
good for u ashley seriously

Rachel: yeah you deserve more than this lol
we all do

CC: now that i know about bean dad…….. i will never know peace

Ashley: oh god now the knowledge of the thing i do not know will haunt me like an eldritch ghost
or something

CC: jk the internet will forget bean dad when a new main character emerges in like one day
but still

Rachel: well
now that we’ve digressed into bean dad
do we want to do final thoughts??

Jenny: yeah i think it’s time
i gotta say: i have so much left over for the patreon, but my truest final thought is just that i love penelope so much

Colin: "A most wretched sonnet, indeed."
Penelope: "Lord Byron he is not."

Jenny: out here with the sick burns on shitty poetry

Rachel: oh a Mom Weiss fact about Penelope!!!

Jenny: YESSSS

Rachel: my mom told me that penelope and her sisters are forced to wear these terrible colors because their mom has terrible taste
Penelope makes a joke about it during one of the episodes but
that’s why the Featheringtons are always wearing like, bright yellow

Mrs. Featherington: "My word! Well, you should have my colorful fashions to thank."

Rachel: YES

CC: u know what
i love it
also mom featherington milf extraordinare

Mrs. Featherington standing in a very, very colorful dress.

Jenny: LOL it’s true

Rachel: she’s got real Lillith from Sabrina vibes imo

CC: I’d wear this dress
right now
if I had anywhere to wear it to lmao

Rachel: YES YOU WOULD

Jenny: and you’d look great

Ashley: I MEEEEEAN tbf, although those colors clash with red hair, I LIVE for the green-yellow spectrum on a gown

Rachel: totally, totally fair

CC: also thanks mom weiss for the insight!!!!

Rachel: yes!! i will continue to pass along any tidbits (hi mom!!!)

CC: ok so my final thought is

Simon, reclining, shirtless.
Lady Whistledown: "It should be noted..."

CC: lol, noted
love the level of fanservice and the commitment to fanservice above all things

Jenny: oh for sure!! that is genuinely how i felt about the boxing scene

Rachel: i feel like ever since Greta made the professor in Little Women hot, women filmmakers everywhere have really gone above and beyond to give us what we want re: the female gaze

CC: god bless
what a huge brain move tho

Ashley: what a time to be alive

CC: still thinking about hot little women professor

Jenny: lol hot little women professor walked so that hot regency duke could run

Rachel: LOL

Ashley: beautiful. poetry.
my final thought is… “hehehehe… “””snuff””” ” 😎

Rachel: ahhhh i love the queen!!!
never loved a regent so much

CC: high
tea

Ashley: like 1. i get that this is how you do snuff but also 2. THAT’S COCAINE OKAY

Rachel: i mean yes, 100%

CC: it’s good to be the queen

Ashley: i love her, she rules literally and figuratively

Rachel: she’s also a messy bitch who lives for drama and i love that

A painting of the queen and king.

Ashley: YES

Rachel: ok well here is my final thought, which isn’t mine but is something that has been living rent free in my brain since i saw it on the tl

Ashley: fuck. FUCK FUCKFUCKFUCK
holy shit

Rachel: the joy this tweet brings me

Ashley: i’m having a real ron paul “it’s happening” trip in my brain right now

CC: LMAOOOOO
genius

Rachel: well next time we’ll cover episodes 3-5!!! excited to see all the drama these kids get into!!!

Ashley: omg truly i cannot wait

CC: AND HOW
get hyped yall

Carolynn Calabrese

Carolynn Calabrese

If you prick your finger and write “Cat Fancy” on your mirror during a harvest moon, CC will appear behind you and make you put human clothes on your pets. CC is Head Crone in Charge at POMEgranate Magazine, as well as the co-host of Moon Podcast Power MAKE UP!!
Jenny Mott

Jenny Mott

Jenny is just a Silly Nerd with a lot of Feelings about Comic Books and Friendship and also This Capitalist Yoke We All Share; she enjoys Dogs and Sleeping and Cartoons. Her three favorite words are: Breakfast All Day.
Ashley Gallagher

Ashley Gallagher

Ashley writes comics and emails from zir burrow in the Pacific Northwest. Ze is a sentient subtropical swamp fern whose favorite food is old words.
Rachel Weiss

Rachel Weiss

Rachel is a designer and artist from Texas. She is pro-feminism, pro-crones, and pro-dogs. She's also Boss Crone at POMEgranate Magazine, and one day hopes to be able to drink her tea without so much milk and sugar.
#rando

Afternoon Snack

It almost goes without saying that we’ve all earned a nice little break after the past 4 years of living hell. Take a moment to

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