Welcome back to Romance Roundtable: Bridgerton Edition. The first season of Bridgerton, aka Regency Gossip Girl, was a great boon both romance-wise and crone-wise, and so we’ve returned in hopes of more! Join us for tasteful string quartet covers of modern bops and tasteless (in a fun way) takes on beautiful people making bad decisions. And of course, be warned: spoilers for the first two episodes of Bridgerton Season 2 lie ahead!
Jenny: may i just say
WELCOME BACK EVERYONE
![A shot of a fancy fountain, the closed captions read, "[classical rendition of 'Material Girl' playing]"](https://pome-mag.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/03/WELCOME-BACK.png)
Ashley: FUCK YEAAAAHHHHHHH WOOOOOO
Jenny: back to bridgerton world and also back to our bullshit
Rachel: LOL i cackled out loud when this happened
Jenny: lol very same very same
i re-read all of our old roundtables (https://pome-mag.com/romance-roundtable-29-bridgerton-episodes-1-2/) last week to get myself hyped
and we’re, like, very funny
and also this show is so fun
Ashley: ** snort **
CC: so like, if last season was for all of us but also due to fake dating, v much for you Jenny
may i just say
so happy 4 u rachel
Rachel: LOL
Jenny: yes!! enemies to lovers!!
CC: passing this screenshot around in a circle for as long as the show continues
Jenny: lololol
Rachel: LOL i just went to google to find that
Bless
Ashley: hehehe
CC: fingers crossed for wife guy / friends to lovers in season 3
Ashley: wife guy!!!!!!!!!!!!
Rachel: OH Y’ALL JUST WAIT
i’m excited to get to benedict’s arc
mostly because i’m so so so curious how they’re going to do everything
Jenny: ooooh
i mean, i still have my hopes up for bi benny
CC: i love that this show is like, here you go, extra special hot mess just for each of you
two scoops of hot mess in every trope
baskin robins of regency bullshit
i approve
Ashley: YES SAME i think the anachronism was even more pronounced in this season and it really worked for me
Jenny: it’s fun!!
CC: 1940s gowns and charles dickens’s literal actual illustrator
Ashley: XD
Jenny: LOL
CC: a real man! thanks, victorian studies program!
Rachel: oh i was like
hello harry potter man
Ashley: lmaooooo
Jenny: lol same
i am but an uncultured youth
CC: look yall i’m just glad my degree finally came in handy for something
literally for the first time i can remember in so so long, god bless
Jenny: relatable
Rachel: ok so, there are some things i wanna say as we start this season
because i think (???) i am the only one of us who has slogged through the books??
CC: bless u btw
Jenny: resident text expert
Rachel: i mean, it was not really a hardship
i love trash
i love to consume garbage
ok so here’s the deal
and i am so so curious how they are going to pull this off
or if they are going to abandon it all together
and i think i mentioned it last season but
the big reason Anthony is such an asshole in the first books is because he is convinced he will die by age 29
or whatever age it is
because that’s how old his dad was when he died
so Anthony’s whole deal is that he can’t imagine living longer than his dad did, so he doesn’t WANT to find love because he doesn’t want to break someone’s heart
Jenny: oh woof
CC: oh yeah didn’t you say last season it had something to do with….bees? am i imagining that?
also he definitely is like LADY DANBURY THANKS FOR KNOWING ME FOR ALL MY 29 YEARS
Rachel: OH YEAH AND BEES
Ashley: right… like he’s afraid he’s also allergic to bees although i guess they don’t know what an allergy is?
Rachel: so his dad died because he was stung by a bee
so he hates bees
which like, makes sense
CC: so naturally he is afraid of bees and of being 29
Rachel: also, so
i think episode 3 is called
“A Bee in His Bonnet”
or something
SO WE’LL SEE
CC: LMAO
WOW
Ashley: YEP IT SURE IS
Jenny: ooh ho ho
tune in next week pals!
Ashley: BEE MOVIE BUT MAKE IT REGENCY
Rachel: lol omg i just almost spit out my drink
Ashley: hahahahahahaha
CC: i bet u could get a lil cravat on the bee movie bee
Ashley: yeah like my prediction? the real enemies to lovers is the bees we banged along the way
Rachel: LMAAAA
CC: every episode title a bee pun
bee-n there done that
i’ll bee seeing you
Rachel: noooo my drink!!!
Ashley: hahahahahahahhahahahaha
Jenny: LOL
CC: bee-nd and snap
Rachel: CC
!~!!!!!
Ashley: it’s sort of like a bee-themed bridgerton drinking game except we’re all trying to make rachel spit out her drink
CC: beedgerton
Rachel: hahahahahahahaha goddaMMIT
CC: lmao ok ok i’ll
buzz off
;D
Rachel: NOOOO
LOL
Ashley: absolutely sbeechless
Rachel: AHAHAHAHA
CC: LMAO
i love this show
Rachel: ok ok ok
so, from a books perspective
so far we are right on track
and that leads me to my favorite part of this show so far
Kate
stone cold crone at age seven and twenty
Jenny: a walking corpse
Ashley: oh my GOD
i would literally die for her to give her my life essence
CC: oh wait i think they age her down to six and twenty in the show
which also L M A O
Jenny: oh yeah 26 still bangable 27 too old
Rachel: this is such good casting imo!! this lady’s face can go from absolute resting bitch face statue to lunatic yelling at horses in .3 seconds
and it’s great
Ashley: she is incredible
Jenny: she’s a lot of fun — and also she’s in Sex Education (also on netflix), a show i highly recommend
Ashley: i remember saying last season that anthony’s love interest would have to have enough charisma for both of them AND SHE DOES
Jenny: it’s true!!
Rachel: god, the slams
Jenny: really validating to see a love interest for anthony who finds him as irritating as i do
Ashley: YES
honestly it really made the whole thing work! i was shocked!
Rachel: honestly there is something about an irritating and hot man being sexually frustrated by a hot shrew
i love it
CC: i love that she gets to have a great mic drop that makes him make this face:
Rachel: LOL
Ashley: HAHAHAHA yes! i thought their chemistry was exceptional and spicier than daphne & simon!
like it really make anthony work for me as a love interest even though i hate him
because she hates him too lmaooo
Rachel: yes, all he does is suffer in this and it’s the best
Jenny: yes! and she constantly bests him
Ashley: SO satisfying jenny
CC: you can’t have a rake redemption story without a rake to redeem
much more satisfying here than in literally any of the stuff we read in my 18th century lit survey class tho
(once again, thanks, my degree)
Ashley: lolol
yeah, def part of the anachronism is everyone taking strident feminism… in stride… rather than like, sending them to the rest cure
Jenny: lol maybe that’ll be the twist at the end of eloise’s season — it was all an hallucination and she’s actually in bedlam
Ashley: omfg
CC: LOL
not actually hanging out with hot newsies that print and distribute feminist pamphlets
Jenny: i hate it
but i did type it so
and so it will never come to pass
Ashley: that’s NOT SEXY
Jenny: not sexy enough
Ashley: thank god
Jenny: honestly the hot newsie though
Jenny: i feel like these showrunners REALLY know their audience — just as eloise is the baby goth hot topic teen stand in, this is exactly what i would’ve been into at that stage of my life
Rachel: oh yeah i have PREDICTIONS
Ashley: go off daddy in training
CC: look i did not see the 1990-something film newsies so young christian bale did not imprint upon me
but seeing this, i get it
CC: he says do the reading
Rachel: i didn’t either but i did see commercials for peaky blinders
that was enough
CC: look at his lil hat
it’s cute! i get it
if anybody was gonna run off with a newsie it was this one
Ashley: he’s not dirty enough imo but oh well
they need to geralt him up
CC: for this gal, it was either this [hot newsie] or be regency gay and i don’t know that this show has the bandwidth imo
Jenny: i mean, i can hope
Ashley: sadly…………… yeah i doubt it
i do hold out hope for at least some bisexuality but yeah
Rachel: ugh i wish this was a thing
but the books lead me otherwise
Jenny: maybe these showrunners will get bored after 7 seasons! throw in a little something for the gays
never say never is all i mean
the possibilities
endless
Ashley: i love them
CC: OMG OK
OK
OK
OK but also
she has chemistry with every single person
Jenny: oh I KNOW
Ashley: god yes
Jenny: i think about this a lot 😭
Ashley: big mommi energy
Jenny: it’s true it’s true
CC: she was like “you’re a virgin who can’t drive” and kate was just kinda like 😭
Ashley: HAHAHAHAHSJDHALKUSDHRTOUP;AH;GJBN;
Rachel: lollll
being a crone is EARNED
Jenny: YESSSS
Ashley: OKAY Y’ALL can i show you a pic of my ep 1 notes? because i think you will like them and also there’s a lot going on
CC: pls, pls
Ashley: i can’t take screenshots so i just have written reacts
Ashley: please note the line under GOOSE, it’s kate’s first appearance
Rachel: LOL
Jenny: NEWTON IS REAL AND HE IS MY FREIND!!
Ashley: yes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Jenny: this does make me think — should we do an actual summary?
CC: LOL
Rachel: oh
yes lol
CC: MAYBE
Ashley: oh this wasn’t clear enough??? lol
Jenny: i mean, we’ve kind of already touched on:
Jenny: this is the anthony season
and he does still suck
but there’s a lot going on besides
eloise is debuting
the featheringtons are in a state
(cheese lad needs to collect that dowry; dad featherington died last season and now they’re waiting for some distant male heir to show up and fuck them over)
Ashley: whistledown is more popular than ever, she raised prices and is giving the increase to the newsies
Jenny: yeah that was so nice!
Ashley: SO CHARMING
Rachel: love her getting to let that irish accent fly!
shout out to Derry Girls
Jenny: season 3 just got announced and i’m hyped
CC: (also Kate and Edwina arrive on the scene)
Jenny: yes!
Kate and Edwina arrive — they’re being hosted for the season by Lady Danbury
and they’ve got a cute little secret!
CC: which is why lady danbury gets to roast kate as much as she wants lmao
also yes!!!
Ashley: lol
Ashley: yep, Kate is big sistering it up trying to get Edwina an inheritance AND true love at the same time
Jenny: there are conditions on Edwina’s dowry — her shitty grandparents have to approve of the match
CC: and the queen ends up naming edwina the diamond of the season which may help things along a little bit
Jenny: a lot of waffling from our queen
Ashley: it took 2 eps tho!!!!
spurred on by some whistledown negs
CC: so like, one thing i think is interesting is the line out the door of suitors once Edwina gets named like, the babe of the hour
i feel like our girl from season 1 had the same deal
which just makes me think that there are dudes in the line just vibing
Jenny: men were more scared off by anthony than they were by kate
sexism, amirightladies
CC: all i’m saying is in these modern times the guys at the back of the line are souls bros now
Ashley: HAHAHAHA
CC: it’s all about the grind
Ashley: it’s true, there are def some dudes who are like, oh well i guess i’ll just focus on flirting and canapes
Jenny: sign me up for that tbh
(being a rich man)
CC: waiting in a line all day with your boys to hang out with a cute girl for like 13 minutes or something
Ashley: i will say – in ep 1, i thought the self-referentiality of “the diamond” was a bit tedious. but by episode 2, i actually flipped and enjoyed it because that status created a really interesting dynamic
where the men had to compete to prove their worth, instead of the other way around
Jenny: YES!!
the fucking talent show!!
CC: LOL rachel
was the talent show in the book
Ashley: I WAS IN STITCHES
Rachel: LOL no it was not
at least, not that i remember
Jenny: this close up magic dipshit!!
CC: there’s always one!!!
Rachel: this is why we will eat the rich
Ashley: hahahahahahaha
CC: bone apple tea!!!
I took my screenshot like one second later than yours jenny and like
this girl on the far left in the red dress
is all of us
Jenny: love to see men embarass themselves tbh
but i will say that as much as this was a fun scene
it was also the most heartbreaking for me personally
COLIN is back from his travels and he has a horrible little face fuzz
Ashley: omfg
revolting
Jenny: he finally gets a chance to hang out w our girl pen, who was the only person who responded to his letters while he was abroad
and we get the CLASSIC
Ashley: SIIIIIIIIIGH
CC: saved for just this moment
Ashley: LMAO
Rachel: this pained me
Jenny: pen, your letters were so kind and encouraging — i love so much the way that you see me that i decided to really FIND MYSELF, y’know
thanks for that friend/pal who does not count as a woman
Ashley: this literal child
CC: rachel is there a season coming up where penelope gets a talent show in her honor that is twice as large bc i am demanding it at this point
Jenny: lololol
she DESERVES IT
Ashley: truly
CC: which book in the series is that bc after making us drink in this pain it is the least this series can offer
Rachel: ahhh i haven’t gotten to pen’s book yet!
CC: BUT THERE IS ONE
Ashley: DAMN
Rachel: honestly it’s the next one so
i’m probably gonna just do it
Ashley: !!!
CC: hell yeah
Ashley: OKAY…. talent show/colin dumbassery palate cleanser y’all
Jenny: oh bald guy with rope for sure
CC: hoop twirler
Rachel: probably bad flute
Ashley: I was rooting for / am Byron liker
Jenny: ashley
no
Ashley: SAHKJSLFGAUSEDTUIAEBWFJLKASDF;ADSHGUAWP;
Rachel: LOL
i do love the Benedict was like, FUCK BYRON
Jenny: yeah felt good
Ashley: LISTEN
I AGREE BUT ALSO
i am WELL KNOWN to have a taste for the absolute most toxic motherfuckers alive or dead
Jenny: i did like that benny was like, fuck byron, but also some people think my poetry is better than his nbd
Rachel: LOL ashley
and YES
benedict here with the humble brag
this mother fuckin art school kid
Jenny: my boy benny is having a time this season
he’s not in the first two eps much but basically
he gets dumped by the modiste and sulks around
making life harder for anthony, which i respect
Ashley: i love their dynamic
you’re gonna be the martyr, anthony? okay well i have no choice but to be the brat!!!
Jenny: and he does it so well!
Ashley: with panache
Jenny: also when colin got home benny was the only one talking sense
Ashley: someone had to and i think eloise had already left the room lolololol
Rachel: lol the chemistry within this family does wonders for this show imo
Ashley: YES
Jenny: truly!
and speaking of eloise
she gets some nice friendship moments w pen
Jenny: plus some emotional depth
Ashley: oh eloise, i felt that
Jenny: i have a hard time remembering that eloise is younger than daphne (because she looks like a person and daphne looks like a teen)
but this was such a tender moment
CC: also pen engineering her big reveal to get eloise out of the hot seat at the very beginning of the season
Jenny: sharing insecurities with your gal pal in the moonlight
lol yes! pen is a good friend!
Ashley: i agree
this may become a charged position later on
Jenny: yes fair, but for now i’m sticking with it!
Ashley: same!!
Jenny: at least my love for milf bridgerton will always be above reproach
she was great, as always
Rachel: truly!!!!
Ashley: just… chef kiss mom rep
CC: i feel like she is always a breath away from a good old “i brought you into this world and i can take u out” LOL
when anthony starts up his bullshit
Ashley: HAHAHAHAHAHA you know she wants to but she’s too sweet to actually say it!!!!
also like
she never makes a threat she can’t keep
very deliberate
CC: that’s true!
Rachel: hahaha well with that, do y’all wanna do final thoughts?
i can start
Jenny: oh before we wrap up!
i just want to briefly touch on the horse racing scene
kate arranges for edwina to be escorted to the races by byron-enjoyer
but anthony shows up to ruin it all!
he asks an old friend of his to distract kate so he can spend time w edwina
but inevitably it means having to also spend time with kate, just in a group (edited)
and like 1) i love to see her tell him off
Jenny: you made a lazy and uninspired choice lord bridgerton
and 2) i love to see him admire her against his will
Jenny: but most importantly 3)
i think this was the first time i actually liked him
Jenny: when he makes this dumb self-satisfied little goblin smirk
CC: LMAO
Ashley: LOLOLOL
Jenny: wedging himself onto the bleachers like it’s a highschool football game
Rachel: LOL and her face here
UGH I LOVE ENEMIES TO LOVERS
TWO PEOPLE WHO WANNA FIGHT BUT ALSO WANNA KISS
GOD
CC: wow this really is a high school story but in a regency setting
talent show
the big game
Ashley: yesssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss
CC: now we just need the big dance
which, like, is guaranteed
Jenny: too many big dances to count
CC: yeah but
the BIG dance
Jenny: you’re right you’re right
ok i’m ready for final thoughts now if you want to take it away rachel
Rachel: hhaahaha ok so
here’s my thought
everybody say hello
to cheese lad jr
CC: LOL
Jenny: those little babybell snacking cheese wheels
Ashley: CACKLE
Jenny: i mean, cheese lad sr is off the market now!
a new cheese must take his place
the prophesy fortold
Rachel: yes, what happens to one cheese lad when the cheese lad jr is grown????
anyway that’s it, that’s the tweet
Jenny: i have way too many leftover screenshots for the ko-fi
but for my final thought i’ll just say
Jenny: old timey insults were wild!!
you little devil-doll!
what is that and how do i become one?
seal my soul inside of a doll?
is that what annabelle is??
Ashley: yeah, i’m fully on board
LOL
my final thought is simply:
Do not talk to me or my sister ever again!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
an actual real line from this show
Rachel: LOL
Jenny: things sure would’ve been a lot simpler if he’d actually listened!!
Ashley: simpler… but less fun!
Jenny: and probably not as sexy
CC: agreed
my final thought is also not very sexy
BUT
i love smirking coachman and i want to see more of him and also as much as i love this show, i would be making this face constantly if i worked for any of these people
Jenny: lol that moment was so cute!
i honestly thought that he was going to be her love interest before the newsie showed up
Rachel: ok when he and newsie showed up i was like
oh
it’s the polycule that was foretold
Ashley: HMMMM
Jenny: LOLOLOL
because he was in last season too — they had a little back and forth (where she bribes him to take her out places)
and this time, he’s like — for your safety, i will give your bribe money back! this really isn’t a good place for you!
he cares
Ashley: 🥺
Rachel: so cute!!!
Jenny: but he has to wear that stupid wig all the time so i guess he could never be a real love interest
oh but what if she accidentally sees him without the wig??
and oh no he’s hot??
Ashley: HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
Jenny: anyway! tune in next time to find out (maybe)!
CC: WAIT
WAAAAAIT
I have one more final thought
rushed
but hot off the presses
we’ll bee back with more bridgerton next week!!!!
Jenny: OMG
Rachel: AHHHHHHH
CURSED
AAGHGHGHGHGHGHGHHGHGHGHG
Ashley: I TRULY CAN’T WAIT
CC YOU MAD GENIUS
CC: LOL
beelieve it
;D
Join us next time for even more love story shouting in our next Romance Roundtable! In the meantime, Monthly Ko-Fi members: head on over to Ko-Fi for just a few bonus goofs that didn’t make it into today’s roundtable, as a treat.
All images in this article via Netflix’s Bridgerton unless otherwise noted.
