Romance Roundtable #45: Bridgerton (Season 2, Episodes 5-6)

Welcome back to Romance Roundtable: Bridgerton Edition. Join us to shout about dowagers in conflict, Mom Featherington: Scam Goddess, and our two beautiful, dumb leads’ increasingly bad decision-making as this season begins to draw to a close. And of course, be warned: spoilers for the first four episodes of Bridgerton Season 2 lie ahead!


CC: first and foremost, happy birthday to ME and bridgerton is giving me the gift I always wanted
milf featherington romance plot

Jenny:

Lady Featherington to Lord Featherington: "[chuckling] My lord, your lies are wasted on me."
Lore Featherington to Lady Featherington: "I cannot help but enjoy a lady who seizes control."

CC: let us not forget

Lord Featherington to Lady Featherington: "I see you for the capable woman you are."

CC: a line that absolutely would work on me 100% of the time, love to see aspiring wife guy behavior

Jenny: i mean, on the one hand, i love this for her; but on the other hand i don’t trust this guy

CC: I do NOT trust him i just want to believe

Jenny: fair and reasonable

Ashley: at the very least, she’s getting some well-deserved attention

Rachel: the love of two scammers
good for them

CC: she’s getting something [i truly hope]

Jenny: yeah and honestly masterminding this large-ish-scale fraud to keep her family in society

Lady Featherington: "How are they to know the difference? Board a ship to the Americas?"

Jenny: truly she is surrounded by idiots

Ashley: LOL
yeah i mean tbf anyone who is investing in RUBY MINES in GEORGIA like, deserves it

CC: it’s simple: she deserves their money; i will not be taking questions at this time

Jenny: oh agreed

CC: also a wedding almost happened and then didn’t L O L

Jenny: for the best

Ashley: oh??? a wedding you say??????? you mean THE wedding of THE season??

Jenny:

Queen Charlotte: "In fact, I shall host the nuptials myself."

Rachel: what could go wrong

Jenny: really no better way to ensure that this will be an absolute disaster

Ashley: i really would have been like… now wait a minute…

Jenny: but before we get to the wedding itself, there was a whole episode of lead-up to the wedding

CC: oh yeah! w h o o p s

Jenny: a whole episode of anthony consistently trying to ha ha unless his way out of it

Anthony to Kate: "Would the two of us being obliged to marry be the outcome you desire?"
Anthony to Kate: "And it is best to call off this doomed engagement."
Kate to Anthony: "You must keep your word. You must marry my sister."

Rachel: god, they’re both so hot and dumb

Jenny: she won’t let him do it!!
he gives her every opportunity and at each one she is just
NOPE
you said you’d marry my sister and you had better fucking do it bc she loves you man!!
which, like, i also love edwina and want her to be happy. BUT!!!
really caught in a tough spot between believing her when she says she wants anthony but not trusting her with all of the information to really inform that decision
re: kate’s being in love w him and also the weird inheritance contrivance

Lord Sheffield to Edwina: "And if you think you shall inherit a single sovereign now..."

CC: which i guess is nbd now that giles and his wife are taking their money and going home
this dude, man
playing nothing but assholes for 20 years but he will still always be giles to me lol

Ashley: here’s what REALLY gets me: kate really thinks her moving back to india would be enough to make anthony forget about her??? ANTHONY???? poster child taurus?
holy shit i didn’t even NOTICE that was giles my god
i was so focused on the trainwreck

CC: yeah he looks like scrooge [not mcduck]

Jenny: important clarification — not mcduck

Ashley: but anyway… mf anthony bridgerton would SWIM to india to get a piece

Jenny: it’s true it’s true he is too stubborn

CC: LMAO ashley
but seriously

Anthony to Kate: "Do you even know all the ways a lady can be seduced?"

Ashley: AM I WRONG
lol perfect evidence

Rachel: in this moment
all i felt was
good for you girl (eventually)
(once you get your shit together)
(this man apparently knows what to do)

CC: lol i hope so, he’s talking a good game
what if she was just like
yeah man i’m 27 years old i have a good idea
that’s not how things worked in 181X or w/e but still, lmao. lol.

Jenny: no one had to explain masturbation to her at least
couldn’t live through another one of those scenes
as much as i love seeing beautiful people absolutely mortified

Ashley: in contemporary times, kate would’ve clapped back with “yeah i did FIVE of them to YOUR MOM”

Rachel: LOL

Jenny: LOLOLOLOLOL

CC: LOL

Jenny: i would have loved to see that
honestly good for milf bridgerton
but to be fair she had her own drama brewing in these episodes
a little dowagers spat

Lady Danbury: "You must know —"
Lady Bridgerton cuts her off: "Enjoy the wedding, Lady Danbury."

Jenny: lady d could’ve told milf b about the inheritance plot, but she didn’t bc it wasn’t REALLY her business, but they’re friends! and it affects violet, so she felt betrayed!
honestly this was one of the dramas that made the most sense to me
i could see both sides

CC: TRUE but, BUT: it really isn’t like they are hurting for the dowry lol
i know it’s the principle of the thing tho to be fair

Jenny: yes it’s more about the betrayal than the material i think
but i do think they made up

CC: no secrets between dowagers ;__;

Jenny: yeah!
and when lady d is in a tight spot w the queen

Lady Danbury to Lady Bridgerton: "I do not know what to do."

Jenny: after the wedding (obviously) bombs
and the queen blames lady d for vouching for edwina
tells lady d to fix it
truly whomst among us would have ANY idea how to salvage this situation

Ashley: omg okay actually my heart actually twisted

Jenny: yes!! and so did violet’s!!
and so they are friends again
can’t stay mad when your bestie is going through it
nothing to do but get the giggles and make fun of stupid birds together

Ashley: truly
peacocks are really vicious lol, incredible choice

Jenny: it’s true it’s true
also in the lead up to the wedding
not only is anthony trying to get out of it at every turn
but he’s also making an ass of himself at the lake

Anthony to the man who took Kate on a boat ride: "Then I must question your nautical skills, Dorset."

Jenny: gets jealous bc some other boy takes kate on a boat ride

Ashley: well. we had to get this tightwad’s shirt off SOMEHOW

Rachel: yes
that is the important part

CC: his paper shirt
made out of PAPER

Rachel: we deserve this darcy emerging from the lake moment

Jenny: when kate pulls her hand away from his, he recoils like he’s been slapped, trips over poor newton, and falls in the water

Anthony pulls himself out of the lake, soaked through to the skin.

Rachel: bless us, every one

CC: i tried so hard to get a good screenshot of this scene

Jenny: it was hard!!
the best i could do was this angry wet cat

CC: just stop moving the camera u cowards!!!!
truly, i feel like this shirt could not have been doing much even while dry
i’m sure textiles have just uh, come a really long way

Jenny: as has he!!
bc by the end of this ep
when he is YET AGAIN trying to call off this engagement
he speaks the words i have ever longed to hear from him

Anthony to Kate: "My mother and Lady Danbury will make a plan — "

Jenny: finally!!
finally he admits that his mother knows best

CC: see i feel like he keeps leading with “break off the engagement” but he can’t keep breaking up with her and also trying to make out at the same time!!!!
to your earlier point about anthony “ha ha … unless” bridgerton
jenny
u really summed him all up!

Jenny: oh yeah he does not have a long-term plan
he has not thought any of this through

CC: now that, that i definitely agree with
oh, so one other thing in the pre-wedding episode
i want to circle back on before we really get into the wedding stuff
so much newsie screentime!

Jenny:

The newsie reveals his name: "I'm Theo Sharpe."

Jenny: eloise goes to an assembly to hear people speak about the rights of women and workers!
but also to chat up this newsie!!

CC: yeah she read his blog!

Eloise to Theo: "I have questions about the writings in this pamphlet."

Jenny: i mean, you are technically correct

Rachel: thats a fake ass name
that’s the name of every OC of every 13 year old ever

CC: LOL rachel

Jenny: she read his blog and then negged him about it!!
she’s advanced

Rachel: that’s the way to do it, imo

Ashley: i haaaaaate this plotline lol ngl
i recoil every time!!!!!!!!!!!!

Jenny: i mean, it is lipservice
i do not think that eloise is going to be leading any workers revolutions
or even volunteering for charities/organizing seamstress unions a la tipping the velvet

CC: i have mixed feelings about it
on one hand:
newsie cute
on the other hand:
idk complicated feelings about hot guy as syllabus LOL

Jenny: v fair

CC: complicated in that you can absolutely learn from cute people you date but also i would like eloise to find her way to more meaningful ideological ground on her own but also: this is bridgerton LOL

Jenny: i think the show can say explicitly that eloise’s radical nature is not an accomplishment she has acquired to help her gain a husband, but if the action of the plot does not support that point…
idk they’re not really getting themselves out of it
all that said…
newsie cute

CC: yeah ty having a hard time explaining what I meant!!! bless
also sneaking out of the wedding to hang w newsie

Jenny: and when she leaves the wedding to go confess her feelings!!
yes!
it was a cute scene

Eloise to Theo: "You might also have thoughts of me...?"

Jenny: sometimes, when i read stuff, i find i want to talk to you about the stuff i read. do you…also?? have these thoughts???

Theo, giving Eloise some books: "I set them aside for you."

Jenny: and he does!
he read some books and set them aside for her bc he wants to hear what she has to say about them!!
very cute!
imo
just two babbies who learned how to read

Ashley: they are babbies, i should cut them some slack
but okay, we’re halfway through this thing
WEDDING??? LITERALLY TRAPPED IN A CLOSET????????????

CC: LMA

Jenny: lol YES

Anthony, after finding Kate hiding in a closet: "Miss Sharma — "
Kate: "This is my place of refuge."

Jenny: whomst among us

Ashley: you just got here kate!!!! lol
so relatable tho, truly
this was me on the floor of the shitty beach hotel room when my ex showed up to the prom afterparty and i willingly gave up my spot on the bed

CC: that sounds like an awful prom experience – the prom version of this whole wedding imo

Jenny: yes, certainly who HASN’T had a breakdown in a closet
but also yeah! the wedding itself! beautiful! extravagant! harry styles is playing! (is there anything classier??)

CC: the unhinged series of decisions that led us to this point, truly
anthony hallucinating that kate is the one he is marrying

Jenny: anthony hallucinating that there is no one else in the church but him and kate

CC: anthony going in for a long hand hold only for edwina to see the way he looks at her sister like he is about to devour her whole with his eyeballs

Jenny: yes

Anthony picks up Kate's dropped bangle, leaving his bride to look on.

Jenny: kate’s bangle falls off and anthony rushes to pick it up

Rachel: also, edwina’s perception roll here was off the charts

Jenny: LOL
yes

Ashley: FINALLY although come on, very low DC

Jenny:

Edwina yells at Kate: "You have feelings for him1"

CC: [you cannot fast travel when there are enemies present]

Ashley: 😭

Jenny: but honestly i was so proud of her in the episode!!
edwina!!
the best!!

Edwina to Kate: "I am able to make a decision based on what I would like."

CC: yeah hell yeah edwina, just completely crushing this episode
in her princess serenity wedding dress
gorgeous, i personally love 2 see it

Jenny: love to see her absolutely body everyone who has ever kept anything from her

Edwina to Kate: "But really, you simply gave me everything you really wanted for yourself."

Jenny: sick of this shit — you can’t make decisions for me any more!!

Ashley: yes YES the tiger is out!!!

Jenny: LOL YES

Rachel: very big little sister energy, but in a good way

Jenny: and don’t think i haven’t forgotten about YOU anthony

Edwina to Anthony: "You cannot provide me with what it is that I want."

Rachel: i am hootin and hollerin

Jenny: both!

CC: anthony’s terrible speech to try and entice edwina into marrying him tho
mr collins level failure
it was rough

Ashley: I SWEAR it felt like the beginning of this wedding to this scene felt like FIVE HOURS
i was SWEATING BULLETS

CC: truly
i kept thinking
how much longer is this episode??? they’re really going thru with this??? what??? what is happening?

Ashley: we need a “it’s happening” gif but instead of ron paul it’s anthony bridgerton and it says “what is happening”

Jenny: lol yes
and it just turns out

Anthony to Kate: "Your sister is braver and wiser than us both."

Jenny: obviously

Ashley: nailed it
thank GOD for edwina!!!!!!!!!!

CC: wiser and braver than everyone on this show
winning over the queen just by being a kind and perceptive person
not accepting any more lies (as y’all have pointed out)
i love this for her

Ashley: omg, the scene with the king. god tier.

Jenny: the bar is truly so low for these idiots (but also edwina is genuinely a gift)

CC: the scene with the king truly got me choked up

Edwina to Queen Charlotte: "All that I have witnessed, ma'am, is the love a king shares with his queen."

CC: love that edwina proves that yet again lady danbury stays winning; continues to have impeccable taste

Jenny: really she saved lady d’s ass here, i think

Ashley: the elegance and compassion, absolutely unmatched
oh fully

CC: queen charlotte is gonna be rustling up her ye olde rolodex for another hot royal cousin like she tried to hook daphne up with

Ashley: LOLLLLL

CC: is that guy single? did he get married off?

Ashley: he IS single

Jenny: are we predicting the return of egg prince?

CC: i am, he was nice

Rachel: oh i hope so
he deserves an egg queen

CC: agreed

Rachel: i have one more person i wanna talk about
before we wrap
well, two people

Jenny:

Colin to Penelope: "Lady Crane was right about you."

Jenny: i know!!
so sweet!
very promising!!
she was right — you care for me, you would never forsake me!!
he’s finally starting to figure it out!!
FINALLY!!!

Rachel: Colin, finally doing something good!!
this better not backfire
this better not be like a
“you will never forsake me — because we are BEST BUDS”
i’m warning you, colin

Jenny: LOL
ah friendship!! those are the only bonds that can never be broken

CC: colin in the next episode like

A screenshot of a facebook post. A boy posts a photo of him and a lady friend with the caption "We look so much like a couple here hahahaha", and then the girl responds "A couple of bestiesss"

Rachel: LOL
i just lost a year of my life to that fb post

Jenny: OOOOOOOF

Ashley: BIGGEST OOOF AHHHHH

Jenny: yes yes the psychic damage i have taken
i have a final thought but i do want to mention before we get there
episode 6 very much does end with

Anthony and Kate finally kiss.

Jenny: no more mouth breathing
finally mouth touching

CC: and also!!!! pen’s secret identity has been revealed!!!
no longer safe behind the cronesona!!!

Rachel: i don’t think it has!!
i think they think it’s eloise!

CC: OHHHH
whoops I misread

Rachel: cause that footman followed her to the printer’s

CC: LOL oh no, OH NO

Ashley: yeah i think they’re signaling eloise for sure

Jenny: oh lol strap in my dude

CC: i still have not watched ahead
and it is very difficult yall

Jenny: one more week!

Rachel: that is the best part of doing romance roundtable
it means i can watch 2 more

CC: LOL agreed

Rachel: i mean, obviously i watched the kissing parts
but like, the rest
i am stoked for

Jenny: lol the plot is not quite as good as the kissing parts
but still there’s a lot going on

Ashley: idk… i beg to differ! there is lots of yelling to come!

CC: kissin & hollerin continues
but with that….y’all ready for final thoughts?

Jenny: lol yes join us next week for the final installment of kissing and hollering
yes! final thoughts!

Ashley: yes!! y’all mind if i go first this week?

Jenny: go for it

CC: please do!

Ashley: okay my final thought is

Pen's sister mirrors the shrugging motion of the living statue in the Queen's palace.

Rachel: PFFT

Ashley: this just captures everything about this wedding for me
what is happening? why is this necessary? why is no one moving? oh wait now they’re moving
what year is it?? we simply DON’T KNOW and have no way of knowing

Jenny: living statue as a metaphor for this pacing

CC: LOL

Ashley: to be clear, i enjoyed every second
being justifiably angry and judgmental is like, one of my favorite feelings

Jenny: relatable!

CC: i mean amen

Rachel: bless

CC: my final thought is much more shallow
but

Anthony, in the bath.
Geralt of Rivia, in the bath.

Rachel: LOL

Jenny: LOLOLOLOLOLOL

CC: butterfly meme: is this a trend?

Rachel: is this: the female gaze
god i love to be catered to

Jenny: netflix knows what the people want

Ashley: OMG
this only brings into clearer relief that anthony needs to be DIRTIER tho
few can be as LORGE but make it GRIMY

CC: LOL
heavy is the head that wears the spirit halloween wig

Jenny: lol yes
speaking of the female gaze though
my final thought is just

Benny strips for a female art student.

Jenny: benny’s art school adventures
he is the artist, he is the model
he learns that

Another male student says to Benedict: "After all, one form is much like another."

Jenny: i read some plot summaries online, so i know his book is next up, BUT
i really hope that they switch the order around a little to give benny some more time to really explore
the extent to which one form is much like another
in a bi way

Ashley: ….. 👀
b for bi!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

CC: we’ve gotten the main regency tropes out of the way right, we can just go nuts from here

Rachel: also i would not be mad if they gender swapped his romance

Jenny: OOOHHHH
RACHEL
big brain

Ashley: seriously, let’s go

CC: v excited for next season’s predictions he he he

Rachel: so my final thought is a gift, really
for y’all and all our readers

Jenny: oooh

CC: WHAT
AMAZING

Rachel: “official playlist”
go nuts on these classically styled bangers

Jenny: oh my god i cannot believe i didn’t mention earlier

A classical rendition of "You Oughta Know" plays.

Jenny: this absolutely killed me

Rachel: lol yes!!!
every one of these is a gift

Jenny: love to know i can now listen to this WHENEVER!!!
ty ty

CC: amazing, love this for us


Join us next time for even more love story shouting in our next Romance Roundtable! In the meantime, Monthly Ko-Fi members: head on over to Ko-Fi for just a few bonus goofs that didn’t make it into today’s roundtable, as a treat.

CC Calanthe

CC Calanthe

If you prick your finger and write “Cat Fancy” on your mirror during a harvest moon, CC will appear behind you and make you put human clothes on your pets. CC is Head Crone in Charge at POMEgranate Magazine, as well as the co-host of Moon Podcast Power MAKE UP!!
Jenny Mott

Jenny Mott

Jenny is just a Silly Nerd with a lot of Feelings about Comic Books and Friendship and also This Capitalist Yoke We All Share; she enjoys Dogs and Sleeping and Cartoons. Her three favorite words are: Breakfast All Day.
Ashley Gallagher

Ashley Gallagher

Ashley writes comics and emails from zir burrow in the Pacific Northwest. Ze is a sentient subtropical swamp fern whose favorite food is old words.
Rachel Weiss

Rachel Weiss

Rachel is a designer and artist from Texas. She is pro-feminism, pro-crones, and pro-dogs. She's also Boss Crone at POMEgranate Magazine, and one day hopes to be able to drink her tea without so much milk and sugar.
POMEgranate Magazine