Romance Roundtable #46: Bridgerton (Season 2, Episodes 7-8)

Welcome back to Romance Roundtable: Bridgerton Edition. Join in shouting through the final two episodes of Bridgerton Season 2 as scams, secret identities, and (assorted) Bridgerton brothers are laid bare. And of course, be warned: spoilers for the entirety of Bridgerton Season 2 lie ahead!


CC: yay!! wow, so we finally got to the end of the season!!!

Rachel: and what an ending!!

Jenny: what a finish 😏

Rachel: HO HO HO

Ashley: i am blushing respectfully

Jenny: before we get into that, do we want to summarize? talk through some b plots?

Ashley: MILF FEATHERINGTON

Jenny:

Lord Featherington kisses Lady Featherington.

Rachel: HELL YEAH

CC: i’m glad she got it
gotta know when to hold em
gotta know when to fold em
and most of all, gotta know when to let em head back to their defunct ruby mines w their tail tucked between their legs

Ashley: lol

Rachel: i have never liked her before that moment

Jenny:

Lady Featherington to Lord Featherington: "You are leaving. Alone."

Ashley: yeah i feel like i see a lot of folks who read the books being like, “less featherington”
and i get it but that was a fierce moment

Jenny: it was! she was great!

CC: ridiculous

Rachel: honestly, lady featherington is a better character here than she is in the book
[pushes up glasses]

Ashley: hehe

CC: she loves to scam but her kids come first
it’s in her tinder profile even i bet

Rachel: YES

Jenny: she’s scamming FOR them, not for this asshole

Rachel: vs in the books she’s just like, i am a marriage minded mama and have no other character traits

Ashley: she truly is in fact
scamming for the kids
won’t someone scam for the children????

Jenny: while we’re talking about this asshole though (cousin jack)
i could never get a read on how sincerely he admired lady f
like

Lord Featherington to Lady Featherington: "I love it when you call it our business."

Jenny: and

Lord Featherington to Lady Featherington: "You like being on top here, yes?"

CC: he is looking respectfully

Rachel: honestly i want this to be his true feelings so bad
i choose to believe it

Jenny: i really do too!

CC: rococco simp

Jenny: i can’t tell if he had ulterior motives exclusively or if he was just a somewhat unconvincing actor
maybe a little of both

CC: i feel like he would have scammed her first if he was smart enough BUT
i think he is probably relieved that he was not smart enough

Rachel: i think he loves to be scammed upon

CC: i feel like, he would like to be scammed by a big booba milf

Jenny: you’re right and you should say it

Ashley: i agree

Jenny: before we move on
i think this is a good time to point out/pivot to colin
milf featherington’s elaborate fraud unravels when colin unmasks cousin jack

Colin to Lord Featherington: "How dare you take advantage of these poor ladies, Featherington."

CC: definitely did not expect him to see through the scam

Jenny: me neither!!

CC: dumbass ex machina

Jenny: but he chooses to confront lord f in private bc of the great esteem in which he holds penelope and her family!
v nice, imo

CC: still laughing my ass at “these poor ladies Featherington” tho

Jenny: LOL truly
he is still a dumbass

Ashley: colin is SO OBLIVIOUS
this actor is very good at being a huge ding dong
in a love to hate em way

Jenny: but when he leads penelope off of the dance floor in order to tell her of his findings

Colin grabs Penelope's hand: "Come with me."

Jenny: my heart did beat
when he decides that after such a dramatic confrontation, the two of them should dance!!

Colin to Penelope: "I will always look after you, Penelope."
Colin to Penelope: "You are special to me."

CC: ok, ok are we ready to get into pen / colin now bc like
YES

Jenny: so sweet!!

Colin to some idiot gentlemen: "I would never dream of courting Penelope Featherington."

CC: BUT
why is he immediately talking shit

Ashley: he is hetero no-homo-ing her somehow

CC: i literally thought as soon as she ran away he was going to say “how could i court my wife, penelope featherington, who i will marry, as i am very serious”

Jenny: ooooh

Rachel: ahhh this happens in the book too
and something that i like about the book
is that she immediately confronts him about it
“well i didn’t ASK you to marry me, did i????”

CC: L M A O WOW
love to be right!!!!!!!!!!

Rachel: i missed that chance to defend herself for pen
there’s not much the books do better than the show, but this was one thing

Ashley: he definitely comes off like such a huge pimple this way!!!!

CC: thank you for doing the due diligence rachel

Jenny: yes our subject matter expert
to be fair, her night was p full up of dramatic confrontation

Rachel: y’all i cannot wait to yell about Eloise’s book with y’all
i am VIBRATING

CC: correspondence straight from the source material omg
OMGGGGG

Ashley: lollllll

Rachel: anyway anyway
something else that is interesting, if y’all wanna pivot to pen/eloise
is that Eloise is the one who discovers Pen’s identity as Whistledown

CC: oh are we getting into THE MAIN PLOT L O L
[cracking all my knuckles]

Ashley: hehehehe

Rachel: in the book, Colin is the one who figures her out
and i cannot tell you, how gratifying it is that it is Eloise

Jenny: AHHHHH

CC: WOW

Jenny: colin is too stupid
much more believable to be eloise

Rachel: YES

Ashley: literally could never

CC: i guess he did see through the rubies

Rachel: oohhh a good point about the rubies

Jenny: but still

Rachel: but he needed to be tipped off by mondrich
without that tip off, he could never

Jenny: that’s true!!

Ashley: pen is way smoother than cousin jack tho

Jenny:

Colin to Mondrich: "I am in your debt now, Mr. Mondrich."

Jenny: that was such a nice moment btw — between colin and mondrich
interested to see how that develops tbh

CC: i love that the eloise reveal is “i literally never listened to anything you said til now” lol

Jenny: ELOISE
we start these last two eps with the queen thinking that eloise is whisteldown

Queen Charlotte to Eloise: "Pride may not be as precious to you as your breath."

Jenny: and so the queen is out here threatening eloise, threatening her family
powerful
queen shit, historically (murder)

Ashley: i love the queen this season 😈

CC: i love that she’s that desperate to control the hot goss
you are literally the queen of england you’re really gonna put the shakedown on this teen

Ashley: tbf her whole sort of livelihood depends on controlling goss!
this is why the queen’s previous moment with edwina was so special

Jenny: yeah lol and the scene w lady danbury when she’s just like ‘what if we found different hobbies, now that whistledown’s stopped publishing?’
and the queen is just like ‘hmmmm nope’

Ashley: haahahaaha

CC: and the queen’s like “if i can’t get 2 youths to hook up i am literally gonna die of boredom”

Rachel: oh i was also curious if that was Danbury dragging the queen for her drug habit
need a new hobby, other than sniffing whatever that stuff is

Ashley: lol i mean, Danbury’s one to talk, she smokes
cigars!!!!!!!

Rachel: true!!

Jenny: maybe future seasons will have a D.A.R.E. plotline
but for now
we’ve just got pen in crisis bc eloise is in crisis
she meets up w the modiste to warn her that the stakes have just been RAISED
and they need to play it cool

Penelope to the modiste: "I will ensure your name remains unsullied."

Jenny: was good to see her taking some more responsibility at least
i feel like her relationship w the modiste has been kind of iffy, but this felt like she was at least trying to do right
but also it was the modiste who suggested that pen should smear eloise in the pamphlet, as the only real way to convince the queen of eloise’s innocence

Penelope to the modiste: "I could never ruin my friend."

Jenny: this was very “narrator voice: that was a lie”

Ashley: lol
where do we fall on this falling out, team pen or team eloise?

CC: hmmmmmmmmmm

Jenny: oh good q

Ashley: obv in a fight, they both say fucked up stuff to each other
as we all do

CC: torn bc eloise is right but she annoys me more L O L
also i think it’s rude that she was literally not paying attention til now!!!
pen is always talking shit!!! constantly!!!!

Ashley: yeah, it’s definitely like, eloise is a blockhead
but also, pen does want to save her friend from being queen murdered? and it works?

CC: i also think eloise has been treating this whole unmasking whistledown thing like a nancy drew investigation when there are real consequences
i don’t think eloise really understood the consequences even when she was in the hot seat!

Jenny: i mean, yeah! and also idk i feel like a lot of where i’m coming down against eloise has to do w this “poor people exist” learning journey that she’s been on this season
like, what does she think it means for pen’s dad to have gambled away all of their money

CC: i don’t know that eloise knows what money is even still
even after her interlude with the hot newsie
who had some good reasons for breaking things off, even if wHisTleDoWn tOLd hIm toOoOoOo~

Ashley: lolll

Jenny:

Theo to Eloise: "That you are a lady who's never had to endure any real difficulties in your life."

Ashley: fully not wrong

Jenny: she needs to hear it!

CC: i do respect that she doesn’t seem especially defensive about this lol

Jenny:

Theo to Eloise: "You took your pleasure from low life, Miss Bridgerton."

Rachel: this was a great point
and i think we were all waiting for it to be made

Ashley: yep

Jenny: would’ve liked it more if he hadn’t immediately walked it back next time they hung out

Ashley: hahaha

Jenny:

Theo to Eloise: "Why do you think I ended things with you, despite wanting to do the very opposite?"

CC: exactly!!!! like, sure pal

Ashley: right
i’m not feeling this dude so much

CC: also isn’t like, potentially getting kissed literally ruinous at this point?
like, even the thread of a 1 second closed mouth kiss literally life ruining?

Rachel: well i don’t want to spoil things
but according to the books
Theo Sharpe is not who she ends up with

CC: L O L
INTERESTING

Rachel: BUT YOU HAVE ALREADY MET WHO SHE DOES END UP WITH
AND YOU WILL LITERALLY NEVER GUESS

Ashley: ! !
are we taking bets?

CC: the guy who read locke or w/e ?

Jenny: is it mr. botanical illustrations

CC: it better not be cheese lad he’s spoken for

Ashley: punch bowl guy

Rachel: i am so glad y’all can’t see my face
i can give nothing away

Ashley: lolololololllllllllllllllllllllll

Jenny: penelope or bust

Ashley: god i wish

CC: i also put my money on punch bowl guy OR, UGH, finding out that one of the bridgerton brothers is adopted, vomiting forever

Ashley: EWWW WTF CC

Rachel: LOL
i can ASSURE YOU THAT’S NOT IT

CC: LOOK IT HAPPENS IN THESE KINDS OF BOOKS, IT’S THE WORST AND I HATE IT

Rachel: IT’S TRUE

Ashley: god
tf

Jenny:

The footman to Eloise: "I'll be outside."

Jenny: ^^would love to see this guy be it

CC: LMAO wingman footman i can get behind

Ashley: mmmm sure sure
i could get into it

Rachel: LOL OK i couldn’t tell if this was Theo in disguise????

Ashley: OMG I THOUGHT IT WAS THEO IN DISGUISE AT FIRST TOO
v confusing

Jenny: similar face shapes, but v different eyebrows

CC: hilarious that none of us nor eloise would have been able to tell
ok except jenny

Ashley: lol
it’s like clark kent’s glasses, but this guy’s thing is the wig and some eyebrow pencil

Rachel: LOL

CC: i don’t think i would recognize myself in a powdered wig

Ashley: trying very hard to imagine us all in powdered wigs now lollllll
anyway… we’ve explored all the side plots…

Jenny: on to the main course

CC: bone apple teeth

Kate gazes pensively at the butt of a statue.

Jenny: lol (butts)

Ashley: hahaha

CC: hard to get a non blurry photo of kate admiring the stone cheeks
the “…unless” part of the kombucha girl meme lololol

Ashley: truly
this is the most exciting part of the slow burn i think!!!

Jenny: speaking of ha ha unless
my boy

Anthony: "We kissed."
Kate: "We did not."

Jenny: still, in the midst of this scandal fallout — he’s still trying to get something going w her (stalking her around the art exhibit; begging for a moment alone; reminding her, at her strict denial, that they definitely kissed)

CC: i cannot believe kate got rocked so hard she fell off her horse and got a concussion lol

Ashley: horses DO NOT TRUST

Jenny: oh truly
gotta say though

Kate lays unconscious on the ground after being thrown by her horse and hitting her head on a rock.

Jenny: her post-coital thunderstorm horseride felt like a bad idea for a lot of reasons
but i must grant that it was VERY dramatic

Ashley: lollllll
i literally have no idea what it’s like to ride a horse, so
i was like, okay sure

CC: horses: not even once

Jenny: it’s a lot of bouncing up and down
doesn’t seem pleasant in the wake of getting absolutely railed

Ashley: sure okay

CC: maybe he was actually so bad at sex that she pretended to be unconscious for a week
so that when he came around gloating about knowing all the ways a woman could be pleased she didn’t have to say anything

Ashley: ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
“all the things i can teach you”

CC: YEAH exactly lol
on a more sincere note though
the scene where mary is telling kate to go for it
really got me y’all
;__;

Jenny: oh yeah

Lady Mary to Kate: "You never had to earn your place in this family."

Jenny: i cried A LOT

CC: this part

Lady Mary to Kate: "Oh, love is not something that is ever owed."

Jenny:

Lady Mary to Kate: "It grieves me to think you do not believe you deserve all of the love in the world."

Ashley: omg
y’all

CC: all of it is good mary is good a+++ stepparenting perfection
well ok maybe a- for leaving kate to deal with so much stuff
but still

Jenny: it was a really nice moment
but critically
it came in the wake of her fall
the story was a little different pre-near death experience
esp from edwina

Edwina to Kate: "What I saw is how even that ended in tragedy."

Ashley: oh yes, she was getting very cold shouldered
oof

Jenny: but then one little week-long coma and suddenly:

Edwina to Kate: "I want to know myself, truly, and to know who you are too."

CC: off the charts levels of self awareness from edwina in these eps

Jenny: i love her so much

Ashley: she’s just a sweet, beautiful kid doin her best

CC: i am so glad my prediction from last time was correct

Queen Charlotte to Edwina: "Have I yet told you about my nephew?"

CC: banana pudding prince pulled out of retirement for the expressed purpose of marry her off!

Rachel: i scremed

Ashley: yesssssssssssssssssssssssss so good

CC: i yelled “oh hell yeah” and high fived myself

Ashley: hahahaha
what i liked about the mary & kate moment especially was how it mirrors the way that they’ve been playing with kate and anthony being alike (dead fathers), they also show how mary and milf bridge are alike besides just being widows
they both withdraw from their children and leave them to parent themselves

Jenny: yeah! it was so nice to get two big feelings mom scenes to close out this season

Violet to Anthony: "I am so sorry that it was you who was with your father that day."

Jenny: and also nice that it takes getting expressly told by their respective mothers for these two idiots to finally make it happen

Ashley: HAHAHAHA YES
like god that felt very real lol

Jenny:

Anthony and Kate take to the dance floor as a classical rendition of "Wrecking Ball" plays.

Ashley: chef kiss
i love a miley moment, so inspired
i live for this goofy angsty stuff

CC: it goes so hard!

Jenny: oh yeah! i mean, kate’s refusal even AFTER they fuck??

Ashley: hardcore

Jenny:

Kate to her mother: "Some misguided notion of duty after the two of us..."

Jenny: made sense when she explained it though
that is a totally reasonable take for having known anthony

Rachel: oh yeah and also, he is bad at explaining
“i took liberties”
NO
the wrong thing to say!!!

Jenny: he’s so bad at it!!

CC: after anthony’s legendarily bad second proposal to edwina
the bar is super low for anyone to proposition worse than anthony so far
his charisma stats are so low one hopes the rest of his points are in laying it down

Ashley: LOLLLLL

Jenny: i hope that for kate at least

Ashley: i’m glad these 60 year olds in limber young bodies finally learned to let go a little

Jenny:

Anthony to Kate, after she agrees to marry him: "It seems the two of us are finally seeing eye-to-eye on something."

CC: i’m glad they can finally channel their aggression towards each other into more regular intramural family sports games
they will absolutely burn down a mansion during board game night

Ashley: he + we learn the true meaning of sports
i gotta say, i also just really really loved this couple by the end in a way i never expected

Jenny:

Kate and Anthony at the same time: "No! We're not cutting out!" "No, not a chance!"

Ashley: they’re both super hot and have amazing chemistry
but she also DOES basically make up for his previous wet blanket personality
a fixer-upper, fully and sexily fixed

CC: she has to carry the personality for the whole couple

Rachel: i think what i like is that she has given him permission to be less stupid

CC: LOL

Ashley: hahahhaa
just like, do the stuff you want
instead of inventing reasons why you can’t?

Jenny: oh yeah i mean he definitely has grown

Anthony to Gregory: "I ask to much of him, and of you."

Jenny: this moment w bb greg
so nice

Ashley: ❤️❤️

Rachel: love that the youngest bridgertons got some moments this season
at least, in these last 2 episodes

Jenny: season 1 anthony could never!

CC: yeah, they got these kids some lines!

Jenny: yes! they were charming

Ashley: for real
they’re sweeties

Jenny:

Anthony, as he leads his family in a country dance: "I believe the theme you have chosen tonight is harmony, Mother."

Jenny: when ant calls hyacinth down
‘if she gets to dance then so do i’

CC: love to see your crush being nice to their siblings

Jenny: cute

Ashley: i’m pretty sure tommy came home to find me crying a little watching that part lol

Rachel: hahaha awwww

Jenny: it was the nicest!!

Ashley: that ball with just all of them
such a great little way to force them all to figure shit out together
also, the leftovers?? 👌

Jenny: yes! but also well-timed bc it turned out that they were alone in the wake of whistledown’s having exposed eloise
no one could consort w their family of loose radicals
a fact anthony then proved by fucking in the wisteria pergola, i guess

Ashley: DUDE OKAY
why is literally NO ONE ever like
gee, what’s that sound i hear from the sex gazebo?
oh just the winds of the moors i suppose

Jenny: a recurring issue w this show!

CC: it’s bc they have a plot of land roughly the size of new hampshire
the sex gazebo could be like, a county over or something
have to ride a horse to get there or something

Ashley: lollll
if you’re not supposed to take liberties before marriage why’s everyone got such a chill sex gazebo?

CC: i bet it even has a bottle of wine there waiting to be used
a few outlets and extra charging cables
a mini fridge
ye olde fridge

Jenny: nice blankets, comfy pillows, ready for sex in the sex gazebo
VERY “seaplane” episode of bob’s burgers

Ashley: i’m dying
lma

CC: well idk about y’all, but, BUT: are you ready for final thoughts (so we can dig into the spicy stuff for ko-fi?)

Ashley: yeah!

Jenny: ready!

Rachel: yeah!

CC: mine is very silly
and a little dumb but
papa bridgerton seems like kind of an a-hole

Anthony to Gregory, talking about his father: "He once put glue in Benedict's shoes."

CC: what kind of prank is this??!?!?!

Jenny: get owned, child

Rachel: lol love to prank your own son

Jenny: sticky shoes
a bad and stupid prank

CC: just ruining a perfectly good pair of shoes!

Rachel: i’m sure he deserved it

Ashley: i had the same thought rachel lol

CC: ok, very fair

Jenny: ok do not speak to me or my son ever again lol

Rachel: in this house we don’t do corporeal punishment
only pranks

CC: was his foot glued to the shoe
or did he just fill it with like, mod podge
“guess we’ll have to cut off the whole foot B”
-papa bridgerton, hours before his death, probably

Jenny: oh lol maybe that is the prank part
amputation

Ashley: oh nooooo

Jenny: ok ok speaking of benny though

One of Benny's art student friends tells him about Anthony's large donation to the Art Academy.

Jenny: my final thought
is really just a reminder of where we leave him

CC: lol ohhh nooo poor benny

Jenny: i’m not totally convinced that they will or should follow the book order next season
so maybe benny will still have time for his bisexual awakening
BUT
for now
he finds out that anthony bought his entrance into the art academy

Benedict to Anthony: "Perhaps because you sensed the truth, which is that I'm simply not good enough."

Jenny: and he’s feeling some doubts
decided to quit art
which–i mean, there are worse reasons–but also
i love him and want him to be happy

Benny makes just the ultimate pouty face.

Rachel: lol true second brother vibes in that screenshot

Ashley: HAHAHA

Rachel: i am so interested to see what they do with Benny
and how far / if they stray from the books
also, agree with the sentiment that they should not follow the books!!
they’ve left at least 3 people bereft at the end of this season
and i want them all to be happy

Jenny: i feel like they’re weaving in so much of pen’s story that it could make sense to skip ahead to colin!
give benny another one-off romance

Rachel: well also…. Eloise and Pen’s stories canonically take place like 12 years after Daphne’s coming out
and i cannot see them doing that here

CC: how old are they supposed to be???? (i wonder)

Rachel: they reach full spinsterhood at age twenty eight (!!!!)

Ashley: oh my god
you’re telling me this IDIOT colin takes 12 years to notice penelope???

Jenny: oh JESUS
yea
esp bc those two actresses are the oldest
can’t expect nicola’s skin to stay looking THIS good for another 12 years

CC: lmaoooooo
she just starts playing her actual age
no other changes
they just make her Looks a bit more pulled together

Ashley: i mean… a time skip forward could also be fun
do it out of order
i want to see a gothy penelope

CC: hydrating & accessorizing

Rachel: lol ok well my final thought is dumb but
but the elder featherington coming into slam the middle featherington

The middle Featherington sister flicks her tea at the elder Featherington sister.

Jenny: LOL yeah they were great
their faces here when mrs. cheese lad makes that joke and then the tall one flicks tea at her
so funny!

CC: love to see them

A screenshot of the two stepsisters from the Cinderella cartoon.

Rachel: this is the same picture

Ashley: SO THAT!!!!
but a little more likeable
we love the cheese lad romance

CC: LOL

Jenny: to be fair, this screenshot looks like it’s from cinderella 2, where the redhead turns out to be nice
so not entirely unlikeable
also the straight to vhs sequels of cinderella are good
esp cinderella 3: a twist in time

Ashley: LOL jenny

Jenny: just throwing that out there

Ashley: cinderella lore dump time
okay, my final thought is:

Mondrich and his wife look on as Colin Bridgerton seats the fellow gentleman he's brought as customers to their club.

Jenny: this was nice!!! and i want to hear the lads’ gossip!

CC: so happy for him

Ashley: more of the lads making asses of themselves in the nice dude’s bar

CC: next season cruikshanks and dickens will both be there
buying a round for everyone

Ashley: hehehehe
maybe jane austen
just “austen” i guess

Jenny: lol eloise is in the market for a new bestie

Ashley: AHHHH
yeah oof!!! big breakup

Jenny: “austen” and “bridge” dress up like boys and infiltrate the gents club

Ashley: TOO CUTE
you’re writing the fanfic already, jenny i can see it

Jenny: yeah and then they kiss
predictable

Ashley: that’s what we’re all here for after all

Jenny: hire us netflix lol

Ashley: lol. not me, i just wanna be along for the ride!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Join us next time for even more love story shouting in our next Romance Roundtable! In the meantime, Monthly Ko-Fi members: head on over to Ko-Fi for just a few bonus goofs that didn’t make it into today’s roundtable, as a treat.

CC Calanthe

CC Calanthe

If you prick your finger and write “Cat Fancy” on your mirror during a harvest moon, CC will appear behind you and make you put human clothes on your pets. CC is Head Crone in Charge at POMEgranate Magazine, as well as the co-host of Moon Podcast Power MAKE UP!!
Jenny Mott

Jenny Mott

Jenny is just a Silly Nerd with a lot of Feelings about Comic Books and Friendship and also This Capitalist Yoke We All Share; she enjoys Dogs and Sleeping and Cartoons. Her three favorite words are: Breakfast All Day.
Ashley Gallagher

Ashley Gallagher

Ashley writes comics and emails from zir burrow in the Pacific Northwest. Ze is a sentient subtropical swamp fern whose favorite food is old words.
Rachel Weiss

Rachel Weiss

Rachel is a designer and artist from Texas. She is pro-feminism, pro-crones, and pro-dogs. She's also Boss Crone at POMEgranate Magazine, and one day hopes to be able to drink her tea without so much milk and sugar.
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