what are cates
even MORE things we know
August 16, 2019 at 9:00 am
There is a movie coming out about cates???? We did some research about them & this is what we have learned.
- Reluctant caretakers of this world
- Cursed to serve the ones they hate
- Full of a pain we can never comprehend
- Domestic sisyphus
- Thieves, but they feel bad about it
- Portable withholding parental affection simulators
- Not for children
- Murder rabbits
- Shitty candelabras
- Secret wizards
- Will light your shit on fire when you’re not looking
- that’s what you get for moving the fern where cate cannot play
- Lol is this the CATS trailer??
- Both satan’s heralds and his army
- Naturally talented musicians
- You know those school buses that are just flat on the front? Like that, but worse and for unicorns.
- Definitely Not a Horse
- Potentially Not Even a Cate
- Hairy dragons
- Sometimes bearded
- Does not want to be in the room while you and your partner are going at it, but too stubborn to leave, and frankly how dare you do this in your own bedroom when the cat was so clearly here first
- Forever put upon
- Awkward losers, the lot of them
- Can we actually take a quick aside to talk about the head growing from this tree?? Is that the fruit she’s eating??
- Like a sad, angry roomba that is also very bad at being a vacuum
- Crippled by separation anxiety but too proud to admit they need you
- Hate to see you leave, love to see you walk away
- Again, musicians apparently??
- So talented
- Just here to have a good time
- Surprisingly well-coordinated — I guess only cats can herd themselves???
- The deadliest warrior
- The most obvious assassin
- Maybe a dog actually????
- down for whatever, really
- On their way to steal your girl
- Garfield progenitor
- Can’t murder you and thus must settle for detonating urine blasts instead
Other things we know: