A Crone Birthday Gift Registry for POMEmag’s Fifth Birthday
Happy POMEversary, one and all!
September 13, 2019 at 9:00 am
Monday marks the fifth anniversary of POMEmag’s very first article. Happy Birthday to POME!! But what do you get the crone-friendly internet magazine that has everything? We’re not going to tell you how to live your life, but if the mood strikes you, here are a few recommended offerings to the Crones That Be on this momentous occasion.
Pls help us ascend into the night winds with this 1.5 million dollar airplane that is already perfectly calibrated to our aesthetic.
No longer available from the Disney Store; still available in our hearts.
We regret missing out on the opportunity to gaze into our enemies’ souls as we leave them in the dust but what can you do. RIP, Pre Walmart Buyout Modcloth; we mourn for you still.
Always down to eat The Fruit Of The Damned now that we all live in hell ™.
The only accent table homegood a crone needs (cronegoods)?
We are v proud of this beautiful & magical book — we’re not even too proud to receive multiple copies of it in gift form.
Light up your inner sanctum with this judgmental brass bird.
It’s not tacky if you’re having fun!
Keep your tea hot all day and as strong or as weak as you want it! Russia did at least this one thing right!
One for each finger, or one for every time we forget that we are mortal and we too will turn to dust.
We would wear it to work, we would wear it to the grocery store, we would wear it to the funeral of our enemies and our friends alike. Honestly, where WOULDN’T we wear it???
If nothing else, RUN/SWIM, do not walk, to your bank and take out the $75,000 necessary to purchase this actual lighthouse. It’s all we have ever wanted (except the other things too, naturally), and we’ve waited for so long.
The perfect gift for the murderous crone who loves to stay in (especially given sub-optimal online streaming options and wifi on, say, a remote and probably haunted lighthouse in the middle of Lake Michigan).
But in all seriousness, giving you the feelings-heavy words-and-pictures Content You Crave for the past five years has been all the gift we need. From all of us in the POMEmag Editorial Coven, thanks for being a crone & enjoying the weird and wonderful stuff we love sharing with you. We hope you’ll stick with us for even more beautiful books & thoughtful articles for years to come. <3