#feels, #popculture

Five Stages of a Star Trek Binge

Star Trek: The Next Generation is a classic. You know this; everyone knows this. You will no longer accept being the one left out of the conversation! So, you clear out your weekend schedule, purchase all of the edible necessities, and prepare for an adventure upon the USS Enterprise.

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1. Anticipation

You have plans for the weekend, and it cannot come fast enough. You have 7 seasons of Star Trek: The Next Generation to get through. That’s 176 episodes of Captain Jean-Luc Picard, Commander William Riker, Lieutenant Geordi LaForge, Lieutenant Worf, and Lieutenant Commander Data. As you stare at the clock, you dream of the Borg and their enormous cube ship, the Ferengi and their weird-ass ears, and Deanna Troi’s unnecessarily tight uniform.

 

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2. Excitement

The weekend is here, and you are prepared. Jammies, check. Snackies, check. Phone on vibrate, double check! As episode 1 begins, you have to remind yourself to breathe so you don’t pass out and miss Jean-Luc Picard’s prologue played before every episode (“Space, the final frontier…”) followed by the iconic theme music. You just know this is going to be the best Netflix binge ever.

 

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3. Amazement

Oh… my… god… This is the best Netflix binge EVER! You are so engrossed in the story of the starship Enterprise that you don’t even realize that you haven’t used the restroom in over 12 hours. Please, for the sake of your bladder, take a 5 minute break.

 

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4. Depression

Well, you did it. 176 episodes have been consumed, and you are filled to the brim with the stories of war, love, hate, and joy that take place 350 years in the future. You laughed. You cried. You were horrified, and slightly aroused, by Will Riker’s ever-changing facial hair. And yet, you are still not satisfied. The show is over. What now?

 

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5. Anticipation

Oh, hey, they have Star Trek: Voyager, Star Trek: Deep Space Nine, AND Star Trek: Enterprise on Netflix, too?! The jammies are staying on as you call into work to spend more time exploring space on the Enterprise.

 

Brittney Martinez

Brittney is a big femmy feminist who loves books. Like, really loves books. She's also a psychology nerd who is silently diagnosing you during conversations. When not in her armchair, she loves hanging out with her boy toy and her pup.

Caitlin Zellers

Caitlin is a comic artist and cat mom living deep in the weirdness of Austin, Texas. She's super excited to be contributing to POME! You can find her lurking around the comic shop, art supply store, or anywhere they serve pizza with extra mushrooms.

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  • Haha! This is amazing and true! I think I need to re-watch some star trek. I'm pretty sure there are even some episodes I've never seen 😐